Now this is something you wont hear me talk about much.. well the religion part anyway…
ok my parents were never much of church goer’s but were church of England I guess being abroad most of their adult lives they never went to church much.
I think my mum was more a believer than my dad…
anyway when we first arrived in the states we went to Cleveland Ohio which in all honesty was the pits, and the state schools not good at all the only decent school that was around was a private catholic school so I went there. I was re named as they did with all the school kids for some strange reason and given the name Anne-Marie which being the awkward cow I refused to answer to unless they just called me Ann… I hated going to the church before lessons every morning and of course always go a lecture of the nun (teacher) sister Mary Alain for not going to church on the Sunday…
this went on for months until she finally realised that hey I wasn’t catholic then she understood my reluctance to take Communion and go to the confession box…
we had a long chat and from then on everything was cool I did however find the Catholic religion very interesting and persevered to learn more about it in class..
this was in a junior high school can’t for the life of me remember the name of it now. oh yes I remember St Louis Elementary School They then got me an entrance exam for Hathaway Brown High school I actually passed this exam with flying colours but refused to go there, I decided it was not for me so we then came back to England for a year as my mum hated OHIO so much I was a good excuse for here to take me back to the uk. it wasn’t even safe enough to go into the city on your own even the local park had had two murders and god knows how many muggings and this was in the posh area hence the return trip to England for my mum and myself so i went to westlands hated school but loved being back home with my friends…
sadly that only lasted for a year when my mum decided we should go back to the states to join my dad out there, he had been posted to Washington dc by then when i was due to pick a high school to go to the two best ones were both private schools again both with very high standard entrance exams.. i took the exams for both and passed both with 100% which shocked the hell out of my dad. however a friend i had made in lakewood went to the local high school which had good ratings so being the awkward cow i decided i wanted to go there……
I had a blast i didn’t learn much but my mate Cindy and i had a ball, her mum and dad were divorced and she was living with her dad but they originally came from LA and were so laid back its not true..her dad worked for a ticket place and always managed to get us tickets for all the concerts at the various stadiums it was great i must of seen hundreds of bands in concert… QUEEN Cindy’s fav i saw 4 times anyway i or should i say we got in with the “bad crowd” and that’s when the drug taking, smoking and drinking started on a major basis…
lets just say i was a little off the rails… hence me bein dragged back to England again for another year this time i went back in the third year of westlands…… once i had got used to being back in the UK and settled in school I really enjoyed it again especially since i could spend time with a certain person… even when i was in the states we had always kept in contact via letters….. hey there was no such thing as the Internet then….
then the bombshell dropped mummy dearest decided that after the year was over we would return to the states again. the head of chancery had moved and my dad had been allocated his house so had moved.. hence getting me away from the bad crowd i had made friends with there.. then it was time to get me into the private schools, the exams i had taken were still acceptable… but i refused to go.. I was then told jokingly by my dad if i could get a job i wouldn’t have to go to school ha ha ha
i was 15 well i got a job… in the embassy where my dad worked i heard about the interviews for the messengers and applied… passed with flying colours and had the pleasure in telling my dad i had a job…
this he couldn’t argue with as it was at the embassy ( if fact after a couple of years working as a messenger i applied for and got a job with GCHQ communications at the embassy )and would keep me on the straight and narrow. lol fat chance really
I did however make a good friend there who was catholic (bet you were wondering what all the waffle was leading to) anyway we used to hang out at the weekends and go out on a sat night… i quite often ended up spending the night a hers and we would always go to church in the morning. this was because she wouldn’t miss it.. at first i just went along to kill time…..
then i got interested and actually looked forward to going… because i had been confirmed when i was in junior high i could take communion…it did get to the point where i was seriously thinking about becoming a devout catholic… then one day her mum announced she had cancer..
this was a major shock to us both… church seems the only sanctuary we prayed and prayed….. all for nothing her mum died 6 months later.. then her little brother who was 7 at the time was diagnosed with leukaemia again we prayed.. now because my cousin had leukemia and had been in recession and survived i thought everything would be ok as this was the only thing i had to compare it to… this was not the case Michael passed away a year after his mum it was at this point that i put logic together…..
. I had been bad, i had been a tearaway, into drugs no church and nothing bad happened…….
I had been good, gone to church prayed like mad and two people i had become so very close to had died. both with painful lingering illnesses this put a dent in my faith to say the least but hey i still believed even if i didn’t go to church as often…..
fast forward years and then i have my son Michael… yes he was named after my friends brother sadly he was still born..……. that did it… no god would take away an innocent baby…. I swore I would never step foot in a church again the day of his funeral. and I didn’t …..for years……
I refused to get married in church I wouldn’t even have a religious ceremony at the registry office my five children with my ex were never christened.
I refused point-blank to get them done….
then when Alex was born Allan wanted to get him christened…. in fact he really wanted him to be christened.
I held off until Alex was nearly two but this was one thing that he kept going on about… so in the end i gave in…….
for three weeks before the christening we had to go to church on a Sunday…. i hated this…… but i did it for Allan.. Alex was christened (in an arsenal kit) lol i had to be rebellious in some way. and no way was he wearing some fancy gown or suit
anyway this brings us to god parents…….
his god fathers were Matt, Andy,(both very good friends but Matt was Allan’s choice and Andy was mine )Grant Allan’s brother in law,
his god mother’s were my mate Wendy (Allan’s ex) Estelle Allan’s sister and Debbie Allan’s sister (yep you can guess who chose them all apart from Wendy and Andy.)
what really pisses me off is that we only see one of them on a regular basis and that’s Andy
Matt we haven’t seen for nearly two years now ok I think he had a bit of a breakdown and cut himself off from most of us,
Allan’s sisters and bil its only occasionally we see them….
and then there was Wendy…. well although we send the odd text to keep in contact i haven’t seen her for over a year now.. i know she is working though… Not exactly an excuse for not even remembering his Birthday though.
As for Ali being christened….. well i’ve avoided it so far but Allan keeps bringing it up… Ali is three this July hopefully Allan will let me have my way on this one… I would think about a naming ceremony but all the moment to be honest we can’t afford to have the big party and BBQ after wards that we had for Alex so no point in my mentioning this to Allan.
so to put a fine point on it… no im not religious not anymore, I don’t condone religion I just don’t practice it in church anymore.