Things are getting better for now

Funny how things seem so dire one day and not to bad the next……..

have finally sorted out a few problems at home, Allan is behaving again and acting like a civilised human being….

And the one good thing about arguing is making up afterwards :)

not sure how long for though lol

Andy came round for a coffee yesterday and we had a chat which helped put some things into perspective..

I was going to take the kids to the beach and park yesterday but it never happened, first the weather was against us, not exactly nice and hot for a day at the beach, and secondly, my car wouldn’t start because the battery was flat…

Ali has this wonderful habit of turning the interior light on his side. usually i check when i get out that its off but i must of forgotten to on Friday which is the last time i used my car….

i was supposed to pick dad up this morning to take him to his retinal screening for his diabetes. they put drops in the eyes and you cant see much for a few hour’s so he couldnt drive himself…..

Allan who promised to find the battery charger forgot last night so i called dad up this morning and told him so there was a slight change of plan…

he came round in his car and i used that.  dropped him off at the doctors where the screening van was and then had a while to kill before picking him up….

I decided to take the boys to a park, i ended up driving past where i used to live years ago when the older kids were little and went to the park there…

it felt weird watching the boys play on the same stuff that 15 – 20 years ago i used to take Daniel, John and Sarah… It really hit home to me how much I miss them all …

it’s just made me hate this time of year even more….. i detest the months of June, July, August, September and October and of course Christmas….. so many anniversaries so many sad memories

I try not to dwell on things as half the year i would be in such a dark place………..

and  dont want to go back there when i know there is light at the end of the tunnel…….

i must be 3/4 of the way to the end now…….

but its taken me years to get that far i refuse to go backwards…..
Im sure one day I will get to the light and out of this bloody tunnel


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