Life after Facebook?


Perhaps Facebook Has Run Its Course… I’m not on there as often as I have been in the past….
Reasons are many really, I have dwindled down most of the games I play.. I now play cityville, farmville, frontierville, and cafe world, problem is they are all at a stage where i can pop on for five mins and then leave them ticking over for another 24 to 48 hours..
I have been full of the Lurge….. this lurge has been on going now for weeks 😦 and the final reason why I haven’t been on line much is the boys have been off school so they have been on the pc’s in the front room.  But having said all that……..
I am wondering about my connection to the social networking site, I have felt this way for a long time now, especially after an exchange with an old friend that left me feeling a bit awkward, though I cannot explain why. I don’t feel that I did anything wrong. Perhaps more vocal communication would have made a difference. Communicating with your thumbs over a social networking site just isn’t the way to address a misunderstanding. I do feel guilty though, was it something I said, or something I didn’t say..

I know I can be a total idiot at times, either way the relationship is strained at the moment and that makes me really sad. I feel like I have lost or am losing a life long friend.

I’m longing for the days when I ran into people in the high street, and if we felt like being bothered, we went through the whole, “Hey, isn’t that…how ya DOIN’?”  Ok I see the odd old friend up the town now but not as often, I think most like me do the majority of shopping on-line
Another thing I miss now is being able to say to people “pop round for a coffee” how can I? the father is here the majority of the time, you just cant talk when he is there sitting in the chair, giving his during my time in the FO stories, or basically telling people they are talking shit.. remember there is his opinion and of course the wrong one…..
I don’t know why I originally got on Facebook.

I think I set up a profile about a year before I used it. I didn’t know the way it worked at the time and it sent out invites to all the people on my email contacts address book. I logged off and forgot about it …. When I logged on the second time, there were friend requests, mostly from people with whom I stayed in touch but did not have regular contact.

These are folk from whom I received Christmas cards ,
Then the requests came from people I lost touch with a few years back. It happens to all of us. Friends from high school when I was in the states, Friends from schools I attended in the UK,  those early work days. Even some from people who I know when my kids were little or old neighbour’s Some of us moved. Some of us transferred. Some of us got arrested 🙄 Over achievers managed all three.

The usual. Click “Accept”. Look at pictures of their kids. See if they impregnated/married that wombat they dated in school. Comment on how much weight they have gained. Conveniently ignore how much weight you’ve gained. Finally, type an insincere “OMG your kids are cute and you look great!” and OMG how many kids have you had????  (For the record, I received way more of these than I gave out) and move on.

Along the way, join a group or two. These are the best types of groups. No dues, no meetings, no power struggles!  or Like this page………  which of course you join because you don’t want to offend the person who sent the request… (I have learnt now to ignore such stuff) although the “like” certainly gets a lot of use when it comes to some of the things but its easier now to just click like than it is to go down the old route……

I have made some wonderful friends on Facebook. I have to be honest, though: based on our personalities and how crazy attracts crazy In fact I did have two fb accounts at one stage and slowly I moved all the real people and friends over to another one so I kept my real and virtual friends and got rid of the gamers which was what the original account had most of .. I think at one point I had over 3000 friends, Anyway as I was saying there are some fantastic friends I have become really close to on-line.. that are my kind of people, can take a joke, sarcastic and have a filthy sense of humour… people  I would have met who are/were  like my crazy old school friends anyway, especially from high school in america ..

I have reconnected with old work buddies from the embassy and GCHQ with whom I shared a love of Music, Alcohol, the occasional 2 oz (that’s my story, I’m sticking to it) regardless. Some Friends from my kids parents and old neighbours, still have the same mobile phone numbers. Being a short term Facebook junkie has reminded me that the good folk from my past are still in my mobile phone book even though I had changed my numbers I kept theirs . Perhaps I should use my phone more..

I have also remembered why I chose to forget certain years of my life. Not out of fear or denial. It was just counter-productive to revisit those times and relationships. All of which I regret for one reason or another.
Whoever I was during those periods was not the person I was before them and damn sure isn’t the person I see when I am brushing my hair in the morning now now. There’s stuff between 17-22 that I’d rather forget. (Of course I would love to be able to forget the getting married but the law wont let me until I finally get a divorce 😦  )
I admit to both having been hurt and hurting people, to not always having been the best friend, sister or daughter, and to needing to grow up.

Maturing if you can call it that, that has made me the person that I am now,  The old Ann,  I have no desire to revisit her. I can enjoy a good steak without watching a blow by blow of how it got to my table. I am by no means a veggie and you know what I dont feel guilty about it and Im not going to be made to feel guilty about it.

If Facebook has taught me anything, it is to be a better friend. Pick up the phone, make plans for lunch. Catch up and chat.. the problem is we never do meet up for lunch.. busy schedules, kids you name it time is never found, but we do chat.. we can spend hours messaging, Occasionally I will even turn my facebook chat on and list myself as available to that one person only and we can chat for ages..
When I am relying on cyberspace to maintain my friendships, I need to make a change. Friendships shouldn’t exist as the following:

“Hey, you on here too!”
Thats great what you up to?
Nothing much kids in bed..
“Yeah. Life is good. Bye.”

Next status update: Ann is happy she’s re-friending people…

Either way. I’m not saying that I am getting to the point of deactivating my account.. I would hate to lose contact with friends, But it doesn’t have the hold on me it used to..
Maybe there is life after facebook after all!!!


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