There is very little you can’t buy in a well stocked supermarket. Bread, milk, Meat, In fact all sorts of food items, children’s puzzles and toys, clothes, magazines, Camera’s, Mp3 players, video Games, Kitchen bits, Car Insurance, Cards, Washing Machines, sex toys…
Wait, back up there a minute.
Why would you buy a sex toy from a supermarket?
Because you can’t find something that was hidden away in your draw and Hope to god it’s not in your child’s Toy Box 😯
Seriously, can you imagine it? 😛
There you are queueing up at the till, trolley laden with food, a Rampant Rabbit stuffed down in the middle so no-one can see it, trying nonchalantly to unload your shopping onto the conveyor belt, looking for all the world as though as though a vibrator is the most reasonable thing to be pulling out of your trolley and laying down next to the cheese and ham.
And you just know that it’s not going to go smoothly at the check out, don’t you? You know full well that the barcode won’t match or the box will be dented and the oh so helpful assistant who can’t believe someone was dumb enough to actually buy one -they’d probably been having bets in the staff room as to who the first one to check out a dildo was going to be -will press the bell and shout out
‘Tracy! Tracy! What’s the price for this vibrator, Tracy? Can you go to the dildo section and have a look? Yeah, that’s right, the Rampant Rabbit!’ Whilst waving the box over her head for all the shop to see as you sink slowly into the floor and try to crawl underneath your trolley. 😯 😳
And then you’ll be made to stand there waiting, because of course she won’t actually start ringing the rest of your shopping through until she has the code for the sex toy and you can only stand still, staring at your feet, cheeks burning in shame. 😳
‘It’s only a vibrator!’ you want to shout,’ I know you all have one! Stop judging me!’ but you don’t. You simply stand and die of mortification. Head hanging in shame!! 🙄
And of course you’ll never be able to go back to that shop again, even though it is the only one that sells that nice curry paste you like and…
Sod the curry paste, it’s the ONLY ONE THAT SELL’S YOUR FAVOURITE WINE! 😮
Bollocks to that, I’m all for sexual freedom and the lifting of taboos but I think I’ll be getting my sex toys the traditional way, posted to me in a brown paper envelope, thank you very much.
Of course there is always another way: 😛