I have decided that I have a Love – Hate relationship with Christmas,

I LOVE the sounds, the smells the feel of Christmas.
I LOVE Putting up decorations and driving around looking at lights while singing the carols on the radio with the kids. Spending time with Allan and the Boys and watching Christmas DVD’s together.

I LOVE watching the look of surprise on the boys faces when they open all their parcels and oh boy do I make sure they have loads to open… Flash back to when I got hardly anything I guess.. I don t spend fortunes on them. These people who put themselves in debt all year just to give the kids silly money presents at Christmas amaze me..

Why do they do that???
Why spend fortunes that I bet they cant afford, Are they trying to buy their child’s love….. There must be a reason somewhere!!!
but I do go for quantity lol they get lots of little stocking fillers.. although maybe not as many this year as they are really not into “toys” now and are more geeky
I LOVE getting all my Christmas shopping done early and making sure that the boys do get what they have asked for  (within reason) for Christmas, and everything is not out of stock.

I LOVE making my own Christmas cake and Christmas puddings, These were made last October and we have just been feeding the cake since,
I LOVE making my own mince-pies and yule logs. I love being prepared for Christmas, Getting the presents early and making sure I have got everything I need… (I do confess to usually leaving wrapping everything up until Christmas eve or a few days before 😦

I LOVE seeing the boys faces in the morning when they see all their presents, I love seeing the magic of Christmas in their eyes!
I LOVE the idea of having a house full of people, just like you see on the Christmas films where there have the whole family over..

I HATE that people (mostly adults rather than children , And the worst culprits going are the Out Law’s) feel obligated to GET presents, make lists of what they want and turn it into the “stuff”. Allan’s Mum and Sister always make a want list…. and take my word for it.. not cheap stuff either.. they do this on birthdays as well,
That’s NOT what Christmas is.
I am not religious by any means but Christmas is not for adults to “Want Want Want”
I HATE miserable people dragging me down at Christmas. I have had to drag myself up and I intend to stay there..

I HATE the fact that I miss my oldest five children and now grandchildren I have never seen so much and that I will not be able to spend yet another Christmas with them. But I refuse to let this ruin it for the boys I have now. It took an old friend to pass a comment a couple of years ago , on how many decorations I put up all over the house and the fact that I had a huge tree in the dinning room, the front room and even one in the hall way, the house was all lit up in fact it was like a grotto, That made me come to my senses. I realised that the year before I hadn’t even got the decorations out of the attic. If another friend hadn’t brought round a little 2ft tree and a few balls on it I wouldn’t of even bothered putting decorations up.

I swore after that I would never get like that Again. The boys would have decorations.
I HATE the fact that we have a quiet christmas. I would love to have a house full of people again.
But not it’s only my Dad ,Allan, me, and the boys on christmas day usually, Although we do have the girls sometimes on Boxing day.. I have a feeling though this year it will only be Amber 🙄
I HATE the fact that I have had 8 ok 7 kids but never get a card from them, I know I said I don’t like the material side of things for Adults but It does hurt me that Allan didn’t ever bother getting me a little something that he had chosen with the boys for them to give me. I see friends saying about presents they have received off their kids and I feel that pang of hurt… I never got presents off my ex and now I never get anything off the boys… I’m not talking something that cost fortunes I’m talking something that would be a keepsake… a box of chocolates that both Allan and the boys eat because I don’t like them really doesn’t count!

And to totally contradict what I said earlier about having people round on christmas day.. I also hate HAVING to have my dad with us on christmas day… only because I do think sometimes my brother Paul who lives less than a mile away from me could have him round occasionally, But no my brother does christmas on his yacht in the South of France… because as he has so often said to me before when I have mentioned to him that it would be nice if he saw dad more… He does have a life you know!!
I HATE the fact that he does have a life and can do what he wants when he wants!
I HATE crowded shops and battling my way through the town and supermarkets especially when I have done all my Christmas shopping!
And Finally, I HATE the fact that the majority of people that mean the most in the world to me probably never even think of me on Christmas day


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