T’was the night before Christmas – Old Santa was pissed.

He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.

Miserable little brats, Ungrateful little jerks.

I have a good Mind to scrap the whole works.

I busted my Ass for damn near a year

Instead of “Thanks Santa” What do I hear?

The old Lady bitches because I work late at night..

The elves want more Money and the reindeer all bloody fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.

Donner is pregnant and Vixen has Aids.

And just when I thought that things would get better,

Those Arseholes from the customs send me a letter,

They say I owe taxes

If that ain’t damn funny.

Who in the hell ever sent Santa any Money?

And the kids these days,

They are all the pits,

They want the impossible…

Those Mean little Shits..

I spent a whole year, Making wagons and Sleds,

Assembling dolls, their arms, legs and heads.

I made a ton of yoyo’s, No request for them …

They want computers and robots they think I’m Apple or IBM

Flying through the air Dodging the tree’s


Falling down chimneys and skinning my knee’s

I’m quitting this job… There is just no Enjoyment.

I’ll sit on my Fat Ass and draw unemployment.

There is no Christmas this year

Now you know the reason….


I found me a young blonde and

I’m going South for the Season!!!!


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