Happy Birthday My beautiful first born ….I miss you every day ….I cry at least once every year on this day…I always will, because I will always miss my first born child, I just wish we had, had more time together..
I could cry but very happy tear’s,
First of all today the postman brought 2 postcards and a lovely bookmark for my son Ali and he was so surprised and made up, He couldn’t believe it.. he’s decided now he is collecting postcards from everywhere we go in the future and making an album. 🙂 I can’t thank The person who sent them enough, (She knows who she is) he really is so excited about not only getting some mail addressed to him but starting a new hobby xxx
The second thing is Allan gets paid a month in arrears so his paycheck 2 1/2 weeks ago was very little as he had only worked 8 shifts in the whole month as he had to take time off so we had to decorate the flat that was my dads to sell it. my brother had also taken a week off work but having no kids and very well paid jobs they could afford it. plus gets holiday pay, Allan doesn’t., anyway basically we are totally skint and payday isn’t until the 18th. we had made sure the car had fuel in it for Allan to get to work.. and the freezer was stocked and I’m a hoarder of canned stuff so while the dinner choices were not all great at least the kids and Allan, got a decent meal. He has worked practically everyday this month so this paycheck should be a good one and we can catch up on all the bills and rent etc.. (can’t claim benefits because usually he earns about £5 over the line where you can claim)
why am I so happy and emotional? we have just had a visit off a friend who came around to give us some money to get us by until next week they insisted that this was not a loan but a payback for all the help we have given them in the past.
and yes we have in the past always helped them out with their girls etc having Shelby for weekends and we have fed them on many occasions when they were struggling but I’m all for helping anyone if I can and always have been, However I have said in the past that all we seem to do is help them constantly and I took a step back for a while so they could try and manage on their own.
After they had gone I asked Allan, how much they had given him and it was £50
I’m in shock, it has certainly come at the right time as we literally don’t have a penny in cash now and I had even run out of flour to make my own bread etc. All I can say is Karma works in wonderful ways, I’m lucky to have such great friends I know, but it proves that there is such a thing as Karma after all.
And thirdly. even when we have paid up everything up to date with the paycheck we will be budgeting next month because his shift roster only has 7 shifts on for August so September’s pay will be pants unless they find more work for him. (which they are quite good at) but the good news I got today was that my dad’s flat which had sold again (first time it all fell through, that’s why we decided to decorate it) and that they are pushing to exchange contracts and complete on the 17 August 🙂 Yes, it’s split between my brother and I and once everything is paid we should have a good nest egg. and be able to put some money in trust for my boys until they are 18, pay off all our debts and monthly payments etc. clear our rent arrears and even put us in credit for once. and be able to treat myself to a new cooker and fridge and finish getting all the bits needed for Alex who is starting senior school in September and actually have some money in the bank to tide us over on short months.
Last night I lay awake in tears, all night worrying about how we would manage to give my OH packed lunches for work, he had even said not to bother but he works 12 hour shifts, and get milk and bread for my kids to even have some breakfast or lunch. (had loads of joints etc for main dinners in ) and now I feel on top of the world
Friends There when you really need them, I certainly know who my real friends are
Maybe it’s because of the time of the year and I’m feeling down anyway, or It could be lack of sleep with Allan working so many hours and when he is at work I don’t sleep so both of us are lucky if we are getting more than two hours sleep in every 24 but the majority of stuff I see on facebook at the moment seems to me to be total bollocks.
I belong to quite a few groups which are I should point out mainly men’s groups about car’s but they are turning into a who can be the biggest drama queen/Liar and post total bollocks just for attention group.
Seriously though lately all the seem to want to do is bicker. they troll posts just to cause arguments and of course people bite every time, there was even a guy moaning that he never see’s his family now and getting sympathy galore. but if you look on his profile there he is pictured smiling in a photo taken only days ago that he is tagged in with his kids…
. A message to those who do this sort of shit… make sure your profile isn’t open to the public.
Then you have the ones who do nothing but post how ill they are on their status updates and tell total lies about what’s wrong with them.
And to top it all off the one who can’t let go of someone they know off facebook but swear you’re their best friend , but all they do is talk about this other person all the time. what are they doing, do you think they would notice if you did this or said that.. they are constantly being demanding.. moaning and expecting you to be there for them but not once have they said asked how you are.
I actually got so fed up with it all that I removed myself as Admin from all the groups that were nothing to do with me really, well ones I hadn’t started. its bliss now my emails have gone from being over 4000 a day to about 500…
I’m actually getting to the point where I am considering deactivating my account.