A toothache​ again!


If anyone has ever read my blog in the past they will know that my nemesis in life is  toothache and the last one I had was in 2009  ( https://notyouraveragemother.wordpress.com/2009/06/17/tooth-ache-if-you-put-childbirth-no-1-on-the-pain-scale-of-1-to-10%E2%80%A6%E2%80%A6-toothache-comes-in-at-about-13%E2%80%A6/ )

Anyway,  A few weeks ago I had a scrape/clean by the dentist. not my usual one as she was on holiday.  anyway ever since one of my back teeth at the top had a slight wobble,  Friday night I sneezed and literally knocked this tooth sideways. it could now wiggle from side to side, causing not only pain doing that but also bearing a nerve so anything eaten or drank would hurt it with a vengeance. The weekend was full of activities and knowing everywhere was shut I manned up, stuck to luke warm drinks only, both cold and hot was  no go.   the only thing I had eaten in days was a half a bite of burger king burger on Sunday, Much to Ali’s delight as he got the rest, and a couple of sausages at the bbq yesterday, I managed to  get the sausage in my mouth and swallow.   My some people have dirty minds!  I had to nibble it down on the opposite side of my mouth.
Anyway fast forward to this morning, I call the dentist up and get told they are booked right up and can’t fit me in at all,  after informing them that I was probably in more pain than they could ever imagine and I have a high pain threshold, they said if they had a cancellation they would let me know, if not I would have to call back every morning at 9 until they could fit me in.   WTF!!!!!!!  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  fuck it the idea of pliers was coming back into my head again.. I got off the phone and texted Allan at work and told him under no circumstances to call the house phone just in case they tried to get through.  2 min’s later and I get a call from the dentists,  they can fit me in at 3.30pm can I make it.   fuck yes!  even if I had to crawl there.
Now I am a regular at my dentist. we all are, we go for all our check up’s, the boys have never ever had a filling in their life.  the dentist I have had for the last 5 years now is lovely, you kinda look forward to going just for the chat and laugh.   I have a feeling the receptionist mentioned I had called and she said to book me in.  like I said, lovely woman.

So off I trot and explained what happened and she agreed with me it needed to come out.  within a second she was rubbing the numbing gel on my  gum and injecting the magic stuff that makes your whole mouth go numb and you talk like an idiot within seconds.  This magic stuff also stops pain instantly. it was bliss.  From the time I walked into walking out with one tooth less, than I had before,  it took 6 minutes.  I am now sitting typing with a big wad of cotton between my teeth and a mouth numb, dribbling mountain dew all down my boobs because I can’t find a straw anywhere and was desperate for a cold fizzy drink.

No doubt it will be tender when I get the feeling back but it won’t be the agony I had before…..   here is hoping it will be longer than another 7 years before I have a toothache again .

Being a mum is hard work at times

Some struggle to believe that Ali is on the spectrum, it’s because I’ve parented him carefully and responsively to minimise the severity of his behaviour. But it takes constant management to keep him relaxed and ‘normal’, if I slip up and stop monitoring him and heading off potential problems he will quickly become anxious and disruptive, and that level of vigilance is exhausting. It is like living with Jekyll and Hyde, the child you see is not the child I live with, sometimes the destruction, growling, meltdowns, and even the heartbreaking fact that he would rather be on his own in his room the majority of the time,rather than be part of the family are heartbreaking. and hard to cope with. 
while others can go to new places and explore new things. we can’t, we have to think where we are going, most times choosing to go to places he is familiar with just for the peace of mind that he will be settled and relaxed there. 

Every time we leave the house we have to make sure that all the techy bits are charged up, we have made sure he is fed and have something with us, we have learned over the years that when he gets hungry he gets hangry, sometimes just something as simple as a biscuit can prevent a meltdown. sometimes it is not the autism we have to worry about, we have to consider are some places safe to take him because of his limited sight.  yes, even then there is a look of disbelief on people when you try to explain that he is legally blind in one eye.  with limited sight in the other eye.  you get comments of “he must be ok he can use a tablet, or go on games” well actually yes he can play on them, that doesn’t mean his sight is perfect.. he falls down the stairs at least once a week, he falls off kerbs while we are out walking.  he has no depth perception.  he got past that age where you can say to him, hold my hand out walking. as Alex said to him the other week,we were at wildwood, and Ali had tripped for about the 5th time,  “Walking is really not your thing is it?” 
While we were at wildwood,  I was sitting on the bench in the picnic area,  while the boys were playing  there was a child, about 7 I would say,  trying to kick the chickens that were running around. he then proceeded to swear at his mother when she told him not to do it as it was making people look.  (note she did not tell the child that what he was doing was actually cruel and wrong)  he then proceeded to push another child over who was no older than three,  as they walked past him,  he bit his sibling in an argument over who sat where on the table.  he then squirted water from his bottle at an elderly couple on the table next to him,  laughing while doing so, The gentleman, in a soft voice asked the mother if she could please stop her child from soaking them, got the reply.  “oh you will have to excuse him, he can’t help it, he is autistic.”  and I felt like shouting. No, he is a brat. my child is autistic and not once has he ever been allowed to behave like that. 

Happy Birthday Michael x

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Some say that time heal’s, well that may be true to a certain extent, I am not devastated like I was the day Michael was born sleeping but my heart still aches, even after 30plus years and no doubt it always will. but I am a firm believer that life goes on and I have had 7 wonderful children since. 
But that doesn’t mean that I don’t think of Michael at least once every day . 

Happy Birthday, son, until we meet again . 

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Awesome August Bank Holiday Weekend

This has certainly been a busy weekend.  for the first time in what must be a couple of years Allan actually had a bank holiday weekend off, and the weather was perfect. 
On Saturday we went swimming, the pool bans photo’s being taken but there was certainly some funny moments with the boys on the inflatables slipping and sliding off lol 
Sunday, Alex had a football match in Rochester, we were not allowed to take photo’s of the other team as there were a couple of “Vulnerable” boys playing which is fair enough but I managed to get some snaps of Alex and his team at halftime.
PicMonkey Collage

After the match we went straight over to Gravesend to watch the South East Strongest Man comp in the town centre,  followed by a burger king before we headed home, I have to say it was great spending time with the whole family for a change instead of just me taking the boys out. 

Monday, August Bank Holiday we always go to the Kent Chrome and Cruisers Car show, although the last couple of years it has just been me and the boys and it has poured down but this year, the weather was glorious and Allan could join us,  we took Darren with us and met Tammy  there 🙂 
PicMonkey Collagefyfy

After the show, we went to a friends house for a BBQ and Darren loved playing with Shelby and Shannon,

then it was back home, a coffee an hour watching the news,  Sad to see that Gene Wilder aka Willy Wonka had passed away at the age of 83, we all loved that film 😦 but all in all, it was a fantastic weekend, and worth the pain, of standing and slowly walking around. I was determined not to use the scooter, although I did have my lightweight fold up chair, which I had with me at all times so I could sit and rest as and when needed. I think Allan was glad to get back to work this morning for the rest lol I have a feeling when he gets in tonight, it will be an early bedtime for him. 

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Hottest day of the year and stupid people on the beaches


I love living in Kent but when the temp’s reach 34 it’s hot, humid and horrible.
Yes, I know the Aussie’s baulk when we mention it’s unbearable but hey they are used to it. we are not. So many saying all over the country that it was a lovely day, well  ‘lovely’ can actually mean ‘really awful’.especially when it is humid as well.

Add on to that being overweight BIG time and hot flushes and its really no fun,  the last time I remember  being this hot and uncomfortable was when I was pregnant with Alex and living in Faversham Kent,     *The highest temperature ever recorded in Britain was set during the sizzling
summer of 2003, when the 100-Fahrenheit mark was broken for the first and
only time*.

The mercury soared to 38.5C (101.3F) at Brogdale, near Faversham, Kent, on
August 10, smashing the previous 1990 record of 37.1C (98.8F)

The other bad thing about this heatwave is the amount of people taking risks at the beach,  we were at Camber only a  few weeks ago and all over there are signs about rip tides,  having been a regular of this beach for years we know all about the risks there. But this was very sad news  http://news.sky.com/story/two-more-bodies-recovered-at-camber-sands-10550484

All over the place are these safety warnings

Safety information

  • First aid is available at the information point in the central car park.
  • Children – know where they are and give them a landmark to return to.
  • Do not take inflatables onto the sea when the orange flag is up in the central or western car park – this means there is an offshore wind.
  • Beware of buried fences and wire.
  • The tide can come in and out very quickly
  • Barbeques on the beach are permitted, but you must obtain permission in advance from Rother District Council.
  • Dogs are welcome but not in the dog free zones. Always clean up after your dog and do not leave it in a hot car.
  • Horse riding is only permitted at certain times: Contact Rother District Council.
  • Weever fish can lie buried in the sand – wear shoes while paddlingwhen we go we have all worn special beach shoes because of the weever fish. but a number of people we saw there going barefoot was incredible, I spoke to someone with little ones and they hadn’t even read the signs about the dangers.  yes, the locals and regulars know about the dangers but it seems the holiday makers are not reading the signs.

    The weever fish has sharp spines laced with venom along its dorsal fin which stick up out of the sand, where it hides, and inflicts agony on any unsuspecting bathers unlucky enough to tread on one.

    The nerve poison injected into victims brings excruciating pain lasting several hours, often causes people’s limbs to swell and in extreme cases can lead to temporary paralysis. Irritation can last for two weeks.

    Death is extremely rare following stings, although respiratory failure and gangrene have been reported after puncture wounds have become infected.

    The sandy-coloured fish, measuring around six inches, are more commonly found in warmer waters but have bred rapidly around Britain’s coast because of the recent spell of hot weather.

    They are usually invisible to the naked eye as they camouflage themselves under sand in shallow water.

  • Weever fish are not strong swimmers but are capable of bursts of speed over very short distances. They use their excellent camouflage to lie in wait for prey to approach, when they suddenly dart out and engulf it in their relatively huge mouths.
  • The spines along the dorsal fin and gills are for protection against predators and are not used to catch food. They contain a venom which in humans causes excruciating pain and swelling.
  • The venom is a type of protein which is ‘denatured’ – broken down – at temperatures above 40C. This is why the recommended treatment is to bathe the affected limb in water as hot as the victim can tolerate without scalding.
  • August is the month when most reports of stings occur in Britain, mainly because more bathers are willing to brave the seas for a paddle.
  • Image result for the lesser weever fish