We have given notice!


This morning we went to this grotty, bleak building and gave notice to get married.  Even though we are not getting married in this town we still have to give notice at our local registry office.  I spent last night making sure we had all the paperwork we needed to take, I popped it all in a folder ready for this morning. 

we got to the office and waited., Allan went in first and then the next thing I know is the lady coming out asking where Allan’s birth certificate was,  I was sure it was there but she told me I had put in my dad’s death certificate by mistake. my first thought was oh fuck.. how did I manage that. 

Anyway, I then had to go in and have my turn, and I am confirming the details on my birth certificate and looked at the pile of papers we had taken and there on the top was Allan’s birth certificate. I showed the woman and she said.. oops.  because it was an official copy and not the original it was on green paper instead of the orange it should have been.  death certificates are printed on green. so she hadn’t even looked at the writing on in. and Allan hadn’t had his reading glasses on so he didn’t notice.  doh!!  well, the panic of having to go and get it was now out the way.  it is now official. we are getting married in November!! 

This shit is getting real!! 

D.I.V.O.R.C.E.D Finally!

This building is Canterbury court, it’s a very nice building and in it is a very very nice man, who an hour ago gave me a piece of paper that states.


I spent the weekend worrying, but thankfully it has all come good, no thanks to my solicitors.  This morning, I went with a friend while she had a tattoo done, and when I got back home I called the court and the lovely woman Chris told me that the paperwork had been found and the judge had done his thing, my absolute is there and ready to be posted. My panic then was would I receive it in time for Wednesday morning as we had to be at the registry office at 9am , there is no counter service at the court so she told me she would leave it with security if I could get there before 5pm when the post goes. I was out the door like a shot and on my way.  to be handed that envelope was the highlight of the year. 

That’s it, all over and done with.  He has made this hard from day one, first refusing to agree to a divorce.. then I had to wait until I needed his signature on the service of papers.  the problems year after year trying to serve papers. to find him. paying private detectives, private process servers.  it was worth every fucking penny. 
He is finally out of my life and no longer able to control my future the way he controlled m my past.

Bloody solicitors

Had a mini meltdown today , just ignore me I just need to rant!
we are due to give notice at the registry office at 9am on the 28th September, getting married on the 8th November, but because my absolute paperwork hasn’t come back I called the registry office to see if I could take the rest of the paperwork in and the decree absolute from my divorce later as soon as it comes through the post. it was supposed to arrive yesterday., they said no but as it was applied for on the 14th maybe I could collect it directly from the court as they tend to send them out in batches and it could take longer to get to me, so I called the court and they can’t find the application at all
they check to see if the fee had been paid by the solicitors and that hasn’t been paid. After 2013 the fee is included in the court paperwork for the actual divorce but because my divorce dates back to 2000 (it’s taken me over 16 years to get it from when I first started due to my ex being a royal pain,) it wasn’t included in the original cost of my divorce.
and it turns out my useless twats of Solicitors forgot to pay the court fee when they sent the application off on the 14th as they forgot that it should be added, so said they said they would post off another application with the fee again tonight which is not good as court won’t get it until Tuesday so I’ve called the court to see if I could pick up a new application with the fee which is apparently taken from the solicitors accounts directly, from the solicitors and drive over to the courts directly and hand it to them. But apparently, I can’t as there is no counter service in the divorce court so I asked if I can pay the fee with my debit card but the court can’t find the original paperwork either so I’m waiting now for the woman from the court to call me sometime this afternoon after 2pm to see if she can find my application she has to go hunting through loads of paperwork, but there is no promise she will find it, and if she can then I will pay the fee directly to the court and then I will have to get hold of the solicitors and let them know the fee has been paid and the paperwork has been found so it’s not sent off again tonight and two sets of fees will have been paid. The woman from the court can’t promise even if the fee is paid if it will be sorted straight away as its usually issued within 7 working days and then sent to the solicitors who then forward it to me, which would have been ok as If they had paid the fee I was due to apparently get it today or Monday. . So all I can do now is wait in for this phone call from the woman at the court and hopefully she can find the paperwork and mark it as urgent. even then its down to the judge then to sign the paperwork bang his hammer or whatever he does to grant the absolute. and then put it in the court postal system.
I have to give a minimum of 28 days’ notice at the registry office so apparently the latest they will accept me giving notice is 7th October but then they are not sure if an appointment is available then and they have said if I can’t attend the original appointment on the 28th I may have to pay the booking fee again for another appointment anyway.
Allan had booked the 28th off as one of his holiday days, to give notice, to take days off work he has to give a months’ notice usually. So if we have to book another appointment we don’t even know if he can get the time off to go. 
I am absolutely fuming.
I don’t know whether to cry or go out and kick the dog, (joking honest) or maybe a trip up the town and punch my solicitors.

It’s easy when you are organised

Whoever said planning a wedding is stressful was lying, I have enjoyed every second, to be honest. 

My first wedding was at the local registry office, just myself, my liability, my parents, my mum’s best friend,  his mother with whatever boyfriend she had at the time. and is brother and his girlfriend as witnesses , then it was back to my mum’s house for a slice of cake bought from the bakery. just normal cake and cup of tea and a glass of some cheap champagne. that was it.  Allan’s was similar, just a few at the registry office and then back to a pub for a drink with all of about 10 people there, 

This time, both Allan and I wanted things to be different, but we are on a majorly tight budget.  I am also not religious in any way shape or form, and neither is my partner.  so we both said straight away we wanted just a basic registry office wedding. However, we did want a big reception for all our friends and some family, notice I put our friends first. lol 

The main problem is we wanted to get married asap which meant allowing for my decree absolute to come through and then giving notice we couldn’t get married until November  when we booked the wedding there were only 5 dates left available this year and none were on a Saturday,  It must have been fate because one of the date’s fitted in well. 

So with the wedding booked, we decided that we would have the reception the Saturday after so more people would be able to come,  and it wasn’t a school night.  And there our main obstacle arose, finding a venue at short notice.. apparently, they are booked up sometimes a couple of years in advance, and also one at a reasonable price.  after spending the day calling around we found 2 village hall’s close to us, one was actually quite shabby with hardly any facilities and the other is a lovely hall, with kitchen, bar, lovely entrance. fairly new , and a separate room as well. ok, it wasn’t as cheap as a lot of village hall’s  but we found out we could pay in instalments actually we were very lucky to get it, as there had been a cancellation for the date we wanted.  so we booked the hall for all day from 9am onwards as we are doing all our own decorations, and food etc.

With the actual registry office and venue booked, the planning began and the buying of bits to decorate the hall,   we have been picking bits up every payday for the last three months, as we knew the day would come eventually and some bits could be bought and put away.   I kept a list of everything we bought so I wouldn’t forget anything. 

Rings,  When my mum passed away she left me two 24ct gold bangles that my dad had designed for her 21st birthday. the problem is they were too small,  originally with my dad’s permission they were going to be made into something I could wear, but with the cost of it, I never got around to it.  so they sat in my jewellery box and on the house insurance as they were valued at £600 each 😮 anyway when we went looking at wedding rings, most nowadays are either fortune’s, maybe I have expensive taste, or cheap and tacky or blingy. I wanted traditional, My mum’s wedding ring was too small for me and I originally thought, why not get that made bigger, so we went to a local family owned jewellery, that I have been to in the past to actually get our insurance valuation certificates from for my jewellery and mums bracelets. and asked about getting my mums ring made bigger.  and I was chatting to the guy and about getting the ring resized but it was still smaller size wise than I wanted,  and the subject of my mum’s bracelets came up, he suggested that maybe if I brought them in he could check the weight and see what size ring could be made from them.  so that is what I did and I explained I wanted the traditional D-shape ring and it turned out it would cost the same as getting my mums ring resized.  so that is what I have had done,
Allan was undecided, because of his job he doesn’t like wearing expensive jewellery. in fact, he isn’t a jewellery person. and  so in the end. he decided upon a Titanium ring for every day and work, and as my dad had left him his gold wedding ring he is saving that for best. 

Wedding clothes, I am not a traditional wedding dress person, for one I am in my 50’s and two a fat cow and I know I would look daft in the traditional wedding dress,  also it’s just not me, I am more of a skull’s and gothic rock chic rather than innocence and lace. Allan is a huge Arsenal fan so we decided the actual wedding colours would be red and white. Also with Allan’s job he has a variety of suits in various colours depending on where he is working. so he didn’t need a new suit.  I really didn’t want to buy the boys a suit each as they would grow out of them before they would get a chance to wear them again.  So as their school uniform trousers are black, we decided Allan would wear his black suit.  so a quick visit to Asda’s for a couple of black jackets for the boys, three red ties and there we go.. Men sorted. 

I had a long Ivory dress I had bought last summer but never worn so decided I would wear that but with a twist so have added some red into the mix. 🙂

So invitations made, posted and for those who I don’t have an address for a FB event page made, 
Decorations wish tree, guest book, centrepieces, table runners, swags etc sweets. jar’s, tongs, sweet bag’s 
sweet trolley, Big light up Love letters, disco, Postbox , flowers etc all sorted for the hall, 

Clothes sorted,  

Rings sorted,  
That basically leaves food and cake, 
both of which we are doing ourselves, I have already bought all the stuff needed for the buffet with the exception of the food itself, and got all the bits for making the cake, or should I say assembling the cake and cake toppers / decorations, little wedding bags for putting the cake in for people,  and of course the actual knife set for when we cut the cake. 

I have arranged for a cash bar to be in the hall, plus I have got the drink for the toast sorted and champagne flutes with a silver stem and may even do some vodka jellies.
I am still undecided on what design to make the cake, do I do a three tier cake or three separate cakes. either way, I have cake stands to suit. 

Wedding favours,  yes I have those all sorted as well 🙂 

Thank you gifts for our witnesses, and although they won’t be at the actual wedding I have my three honorary flower girls for the reception and their little dresses and gifts. 
I have bought a little something for one of my oldest friends who can’t actually make the wedding, had she been able to come or had I had a big wedding she would probably have been my maid of honour so I have got her a little MOH gift to give her at the reception. 
I have also got a thank you gift for my brother in law to be as he run’s a disco hire and is doing our disco for us as a present. 

Everything is basically bought and paid for now with the exception of food products. 
Wedding and Hall paid for
All we need to pay for now is the £70 to give notice when we do and the food for the reception. 

Basically, all booked, organised in a week, as to what we needed to buy, get, etc we have even got a shopping list of what food to buy for the reception.  All now bought and paid for with the exception of food. 

We are using our own car to drive to the wedding itself and have a ribbon to go on it. and after the wedding itself, we have booked a table at  our favourite restaurant for those who are attending the actual service. 

We are ready, we are prepared,  and have been for ages, all stress-free and we are getting impatient for the big days 🙂 

PicMonkey Imageeeyhe

My non-traditional wedding attire



Our beautiful registry office


What a change of events

Today  weather warnings and flood alerts have been issued for Kent suggesting the summer is well and truly over.

The Met Office has issued an amber weather warning across London and the south-east.

Rivers of the Isle of Sheppey have been warned to be prepared for possible flooding, and that’s where we come into it. we are about a mile  or so away from the swale dividing us from the Isle of Sheppey, Milton throughout history was always prone to flooding from the creek. not that it’s happened on our road since we have lived here,  thankfully.

Last night I was lying there trying to get to sleep, listening to the rain come down and it was hammering it down, to say the least.  this morning it was still raining when I took Ali to school. Alex had a day off as the school had a water leak ironically.  It has been so much cooler today to the point where we were feeling cold, in 24 hours we have gone from one extreme to the other. In fact, it’s been a crappy 24hrs, Allan’s car broke down last night on his way home from work and he had to get the RAC out. he finally got home with his car on the back of a truck about 10pm.so not being able to go into work today, Allan had the day off to try and sort it,  we have tried a cheap fix option and put some steel seal stuff in the radiator to see if that works, well I say cheap it was £37 something for the bottle but cheap compared to the car going in the garage. fingers crossed it works. 

Alex has managed to lock himself out of his phone by putting a pattern lock on and forgetting what it was, so looks like I will be trying to sort that out.  

I’m really feeling the pain today, my legs  hurt so much that I don’t know whether to put them straight, bend them. chop them off..I’m in a foul mood today as the one day I could attempt to have a lie in until about 6.30am and the phones went off, first it was the alarm we use for getting Allan up in the mornings for work, I had forgotten to turn them off, then it was his control room calling twice to find out why he wasn’t at work, both times I explained that his shift was covered because of his car.  and then my phone went off because someone thought it was a good idea to send me a morning picture on WhatsApp.
in the end, I gave up on sleep. 

The plus sides of today. 
My legs (I have arthritis in hips and knees) hurt so much in the cold damp weather it took my mind off my ankle and foot hurting lol 

Because of me really not being able to do much today or indeed walk around hardly. we had a Chinese chinese for dinner , something we only do about 3 times a year. 

here is tomorrow being a better day! 

The Little things in life!


We have had scaffolding up at the front and back of our house for 4 weeks now as they were doing guttering and roof repairs.
They started taking it down yesterday. the problem with ours is they had put a pole right outside our front door in the middle of the front path, which meant it was a pain to even get shopping etc in the house, next door couldn’t get her wheelie bin out as it was in her front garden with a pole across the entrance so we had to lift it over the fence every week.
Yesterday they came and took down 4 houses worth and left the tv aerials and sky dishes hanging down.(they had taken them off and attached them to the scaffolding when they put it up,) so people were going mad as they had no tv. when my neighbours complained about it, they were told it is not down to the workmen to re-attach them. It was quite funny, She is five doors down from me and I could hear her shouting down the phone lol it was like WW3 had started so they had to come back at 7pm to put the aerials and satellite dishes back up. let’s just say there were not happy bunnies,  the guy took half an hour putting our Sky satellite dish back up, I didn’t have the heart to tell him we are no longer with sky and are on Virgin cable now.
The scaffolding has just been taken from outside my house and they had a truck parked right across our driveway,  when I tried to explain I needed to get the car out of the drive because I had to do the school run as their truck was in the way. they looked at me like I was from another planet. then huffed and puffed before he moved it,  by the time I got back it was there again so I had to park right down the end of the road. 

 but at least its gone now and we can get the wheelie bins out with ease and walk out the front door without fear of walking into the pole lol 

The Great British Bake off, will it survive?

I love this, I have never missed a show yet, I have watched the first series, on BBC first BBC2 and then on BBC1 but now they will be moving to C4 I do wonder if it will survive,  I have a feeling if the judges Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood, leave the show will go the same way as Top Gear did when JC was sacked,  sometimes the people make the show. 

Ok they are good but I think they could be replaced, it’s Paul (oh yes I would 😉 ) and Mary that make the show, but if they leave I think it will never be the same