I recently was put into Facebook jail my friends, and I will tell you that it’s not a place you want to be.
They throw you in this dark tiny cell, and all you can hear are the moans of fellow inmates, intermingled with the sounds of dripping water and rat squeals. They feed you bread and dripping and tripe soup. There is no humanity in Facebook jail.
It happened yesterday afternoon. I logged into my Facebook account and was instantly greeted with a meme/gif that had been shared BY SOMEONE ELSE to my Facebook page . “YOU ARE A BAD PERSON!” I think Facebook’s message read beneath it. Or something like that. “THIS IMAGE IS ILLEGAL AND SOME FUCKER HAS SQUEALED ON YOU!”
I hadn’t even shared it. A man with a rather festive wreath waggling his private parts, But alas, some pussy had found it on my page, and called down the mean people in dark blue suits and wartime hats to start beating me with billy clubs.
Facebook then made me click “next.” I did. It had a picture of the God of Facebook hammering a gavel, pointing one finger at me, and handing me my sentence. “YOU SHALL NOT BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING BUT LOOK AT FACEBOOK FOR 24 HOURS! NO POSTING, NO LIKING THINGS, NO TOUCHIE TOUCHIE! JUST LOOKIE LOOKIE!”
The last 24 hours were hell. I did my best to escape out of there. I appealed to Facebook twice. I told them, I was sorry and I would be more vigilant on what others post on my page. I asked so nicely for early release. But none was granted. No forgiveness was given. I would have to serve my time.
Bad timing actually it would always be bad timing now matter when it happened. It was right when I was into the swing of the Christmas word game picture I posted on Facebook, and many other things I won’t bore you with, but were important to me, especially seeing certain person/people taking a certain amount of amusement out of my sentence to Facebook jail,
Now if the ban had been on my timeline it really wouldn’t bother me, I can go longer than 24 hours without setting a status or posting pictures, sharing links etc.
But I couldn’t like any of your comments on the posts in my favourite group, and there were so many incredible and beautiful ones, so many sad ones’s I just wanted to show a little love on, even newbies I couldn’t warn I mean, say hello to! every time I tried to comment, there again popped up the God of Facebook, angrier every time, pointing at me, and shrieking, “IDIOT! DO YOU THINK WE HAVE FORGOTTEN YOUR SENTENCE! BACK IN THE CORNER WITH YOU!” Then they’d bring out the fire hose.
Still. It was 24 hours of hell. I felt like such an all-taker no-giver. I got to see everything going on in my friends’ lives, on groups that I wished to comment or even pop in the odd like on, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I felt like some creepy weirdo in the bushes, peeping through people’s windows.
When it was all over, I had several texts from people asking why I was ignoring them, why I was not answering, wondering if they had offended me, etc. etc. I had the urge to send them all a picture of me moping in the corner, saying “I was a bad girl in time-out.”
Gosh. I do my best to never post naked pictures, well not for the general public’s viewing, actually I don’t post them at all, as there are enough people puking with the norovirus without the sight of me in my birthday suit to make them feel ill and throw up everywhere. Anyway, I paid the price. I did the time. And now I am here again telling you my horrid tale. I’ll show you my virtual bruises and my scars. And I’ll scare you into thinking twice about what you decide to share. Just remember when you post a photo or meme containing nudity, it is not only you who will get a warning or ban, it is the group or page Admin as well. It can even result in the page or group being deleted.
Memes. They can fuck you over, my friends. Be careful.