Things are slowly getting back to normal, whatever normal is.

As I said things are slowly getting back to normal,  Allan went off to cub camp last weekend with Ali, the pair of the had a great time, I’m never sure who is the biggest kid.

Ali at cub camp

Ali at cub camp

As I had been stuck indoors all weekend and the boys were on half term this week I decided we needed to go out or should I say I needed to go out, so we had a few day trips. 

we took the boys and one of their friend Joe to leysdown the local seaside resort about ten mins drive away if you don't get stuck in traffic getting on the island.

we took the boys and one of their friend Joe to leysdown,  the local seaside resort about ten mins drive away if you don’t get stuck in traffic getting on the island.

Wednesday was our invicta arachnid meeting where we had a great talk by hazel from wildwood which is a nature park, the talk was on the dormouse and she brought one to show us. oh and we cleaned out in the raffle, we won £10 and this bag of goodies, not bad for £3 worth of tickets.

Wednesday was our Invicta arachnid meeting where we had a great talk by hazel from wildwood which is a nature park, the talk was on the dormouse and she brought one to show us. oh and we cleaned out in the raffle, we won £10 and this bag of goodies, not bad for £3 worth of tickets.

Thursday we decided we would take the kids to wildwood as we have a season ticket, so we took the boys, and their friend Josh and Shelby with us.

Thursday we decided we would take the kids to wildwood as we have a season ticket, so we took the boys, and their friend Josh and Shelby with us.

PicMonkey Collage 4
we also took the boys with their friends to the local park, one day.  and below that are some pictures of my handsome grandson 🙂


We had a lovely meal out at the local pub which is only a few mins crawl I mean walk home 🙂

All in all it has been a really nice relaxing week,  it really does make a change getting out and about again after not being able to go anywhere because of going back and forth to the hospital or clearing my dads flat or not being mobile because of my broken foot.  
I have an appointment at the fracture clinic Tuesday and I am hoping they say I can take the air cast boot off officially, to be honest I have stopped wearing it indoors as I would rather put up with the slight pain then be clumping around with it, and I have never worn it at bedtime.  

It’s now 3.36am Friday night/ Saturday morning, I have Darren my grandson here for the night as I babysit him most weekends and we are planning on going to a boot fair in the morning/later on so I had better try and get a couple of hours sleep.  

I will sign off with a couple of silly pictures,  one when I was cutting Ali’s hair and decided to take a picture before I shaved the last bit off, like you do and a picture I found on my phone which Alex had taken of himself being silly 

PicMonkey Collage 2

So much to catch up on

I’ll be honest so much has gone on since last year that I’ve not been in the frame of mind to do anything for months. the run up to Christmas was hectic, between school activities, working, courses and the usual preparations
But Christmas itself was lovely. We spend half the day with my dad over for xmas dinner. Little did we know it would be the last. And then in the evening we had friends over with their little girls and we had a great time-sharing presents. Boxing day was the same. Hectic and a time for friends.  After a couple of false Alarms in the following week. My gorgeous grandson was born on new year’s day. I was so honoured to be there at his birth. Wow things are so different from the other end of things.  After that things went downhill for us.
The head gasket went on Allan’s car and it was declared deceased and of course just after xmas finances or lack of them meant that we couldn’t afford to fix or replace it. Ali got chicken pox and had spots everywhere so missed nearly two weeks of school and then at the beginning of Feb my dad wasn’t feeling well. So went home early after his usual visit in the morning. I spoke to him in the evening and he said he was feeling  a bit better. The next morning we hadn’t heard from him by 10am so went round the flat to find him collapsed on the floor. This resulted in him being taken to hospital. For the next 5 weeks I spent everyday bar three going back and forth to the main hospital in Medway which is about a half hour drive away. and then he was transferred to St Thomas’ hospital in London. So I spent another 3 weeks going back and forth to London, sadly the day before his birthday he passed away. During the whole time he was in hospital i was still having to go around his flat everyday to feed his fish and check mail etc. So three days before his funeral I am boxing stuff up as we had to clear the flat and I  trip over his mobility scooter and hurt my foot. Somehow after sitting down for an hour. I decided to man up and managed to drive home in the landrover.  The next day I was still in a lot of pain so off we went to the hospital to find out I had broken my foot in three places and cracked my heel.  So they put a cast on and told me to go back to the fracture clinic in ten days. So I ended up going to the funeral in my dad’s wheelchair. Thankfully after the ten days when I went back I had the choice, another cast for 6 weeks or an Air boot for 10 weeks. I chose the boot as I can at least take it off at night. As we arrived home I went to get out of the car and as I was getting my crutches out of the back of the car Allan shut the door on the car and caught my fingers in it.. resulting in a broken finger as well,  you have to laugh., anyway back to the boot.  At least  I take it off at night and every time I sit down although I’m not supposed to really. only to have a bath and at night after the first two weeks but of course I pay no attention to that lol . Unfortunately, it means I can’t do much in the house so we are sitting with boxes of my dads bits everywhere. Our bedroom is a store-room as I can’t get upstairs anyway (we are both sleeping on the sofa) and that’s about brought me up to date. I went back to my maths course on Monday afternoons last week  ( I’d  not been since Jan) Allan had to drop me off and pick me up as I can’t drive. But other than that ive not done anything else apart from numerous visits to solicitors to sort out my dad’s affairs with my brother. So that’s about it. Nothing else has gone on really.  So basically with the exception of Darren my grandson’s birth. This year sucks big time.

me holding Darren minutes after he was born

me holding Darren minutes after he was born

getting Darren dressed for the first time.

getting Darren dressed for the first time.

broken foot with the cast

broken foot with the cast

my Air boot until the end of June at least

my Air boot until the end of June at least

broken fingers it could only happen to me.

broken fingers it could only happen to me.

Swearing Alert……..

I know I haven’t posted much really… but had a lot on my mind..
before We went away to Pontins for an as it turned out very much-needed weekend break
some pics when I get the chance…..

Allan’s 21 yr old daughter who lives with us has just told us she is pregnant by the wanker who trashed my car and my front windows and left dents in my front door when she wouldn’t give him ten quid for a fix… because she lives here.. We told her at the time that if she saw him again she can move out… she assured us she wasn’t seeing him any more… he gets locked up for some other offence and got out on April 9th and what does she do… goes straight fucking back to him..

Fuck knows how she is going to cope with a baby she is so lazy she can’t even take her own pants out of her jeans for me to wash them. and does nothing in the house. in fact she was on her last warning after opening court letters addressed to me about the injunction against her said boyfriend kicking him out of the village .. so he is homeless and sofa surfing with other people.. He has been housed before and been evicted so stands no chance of ever being offered another council house. She just turned around and said oh I will go to the homeless mothers unit and they will house me……. Seriously it’s not going to happen. there are waiting lists a mile long… even when I was homeless and had Alex he was three months old before I got offered temp accommodation and things have changed in the last ten years…

Seriously what fucking planet is she on? she is causing major rows between me and Allan as I wanted her out the house before now because of what she is like and he kept saying give her another chance…(this has been going on for over a year-long before my car was trashed) I am sick of her being so lazy and asking her not to do things, right down to throwing dirty knickers on the floor in the kitchen for the wash… I told her she was on her last warning again and she was to do all her own washing.. so what do I come down to the very next morning.. yep dirty knickers on the floor in the kitchen… nice… oh and then Allan gave me a letter to put away in the file…yep she had opened it.. Again he made up an excuse for her… she said her eyes were blurry as it was when she had just got up
I swear I look at here and I want to pick up every thing she owns in the house and throw it out along with her..

I am not annoyed because she is pregnant… fuck I am actually surprised she made it to the age of 21 first.  What I am annoyed at is the fact that it’s his baby…. and she hasn’t denied it or even apologised or anything.. she just doesn’t give a shit..

I feel like she has taken me for a right cunt and now I’m going to be the bad one if I throw her out….. and what makes it worse.. is she is not only NOT my fucking daughter… she is biologically not Allan’s either.. she was 18months old or so when he got with her mother, and on that subject if truth was told even her own mother doesn’t want her back as her husband (that she had an affair with when she was married to Allan,* he was a lot older than Allan*) now is disabled and is now senile so they are converting the two bed house she is in to one bed with a lift upstairs and wet-room, they have even allowed Tammy Allan’s natural daughter to move in with her boyfriend even though she is only 17 funny enough the same age that Amber moved out originally to live with her first scaghead boyfriend before we had to rescue her from him. and she couldn’t wait to move out because Tammy hated sharing a room with her.. and Allan’s ex took Tammy’s side. I think it’s a case of her mother just couldn’t wait to get rid of them.. of course no doubt she would deny this but I somehow can’t see her offering Amber a permanent home if I kicked her out.

I kid you not she is certainly not mother of the year.

So you could say I have been totally stressed out at the moment… and fed up with being taken for a Cunt…… Yet again!  If fact even when I said to her I feel like she has taken me for a cunt she just goes  oh………    I want to bitch slap her.. so fucking hard……………

and of course If and when I do kick her out of MY FUCKING HOUSE  It will be me who is the cunt for kicking out a pregnant girl on the streets……….
I would say end of Rant but I have a feeling that this will never come to an end..




The highs and low’s of this week

To say the last 7 days have been challenging would be an understatement.
I spend the majority of my time now driving the old man around to various appointment’s , shop’s and other places he either needs to go to or has to go to.
I get that he can’t get out now because he can’t drive
I get that he is lonely because he has NO friends but then neither did my mother, maybe is because they spent the majority of their life travelling around the world from one country to another and were never in one place long enough to make friends rather than acquaintances,
I get that I am the only person he has because quite frankly my older brother.  By 7 years,  is a total waste of space who has always made it clear even back to when my mother was alive that he and his wife (no kids ) as he put it to me when I last spoke to him “We Have a Life “.  so although he lives less than a mile from the old fart he doesn’t even call him never mind go and see him..  so that leaves me to do it all.
Apparently even with the work I do, the Volunteering, the kids, House, the pets, the Adult Education, and everything else… does not constitute anything as important as my brothers “life”
What my dad doesn’t get is that I can’t be with him from 8am or before If he had his way till 8 at night, when I say I have school runs and things to do he sulkslike a child..  so that brings me to the.  Low’s.
I live in a house with 3 adults in amber is over 21 now but still does fuck all, can’t even sort her washing or room out, I even posted a picture of her jeans with her draws still stuck inside them on facebook, ok she blocked me but the next morning her shorts with one leg inside out and another pair of jeans with socks stuck in the end were in the wash…. obviously nothing sinks in.
Next time everything goes straight in the bin..  I would say she should do her own washing but then I can see her buggering up my washing machine.. she cant even work out how to turn an oven on using the pilot light, so the washing machine is going to be way beyond her.  The advantage of her blocking me on facebook is the next time she leaves her knickers on the floor in the kitchen,  hair all over the bathroom, and bedroom a complete tip  (ok thats normal but when I ask her to do it I expect to be able to see carpet) as far as I can see now.. Everything Skanky  Is fair game.

Allan has done nothing lately apart from moan and do stuff for the scouts, so I lost it on Sunday. I will thrown away clothes etc that are still rolled together in the wash and Allan can start to pull his weight and put family first instead of everyone else .

All was helped better by some kind words from one friend (he may know who he is) and a visit around to see another friend and a pint and a half of wine, and a good old natter and whine.

I did walk there lol

The highs I received my certificate to say I had passed my teacher training course and that they want me to go in and take some exams on Friday well mock exams and if I pass them I can take my examination without having to do a years course ( personally I’m not holding my breath) but it will be nice to have a day without running him around even if it means I’m at the Adult education college instead.

We have our little visitor back this weekend as well so determined on how his trial run of the hike goes tonight depends on if I can go this weekend. Which was the cause of another argument because after last years hike and the problems we had with Ali this was the reason Allan was organising on this year and where does he choose, down country lanes near Milstead which has some very steep hills.

And here endeth  today’s rant

Footnote:  as I didn’t get to post this yesterday as I was on my phone and thought it had sent I now realise that you poor sods are going to get it all in one go today

So anyway Last night he did the hike and lo and behold… the walk was too dangerous and with hills to steep for beavers to use, in fact I was told that even the adults would find the terrain hard going.

So now the hike has been rearranged and they are going to do it locally and yes I can take the little one in the buggy so I will indeed be joining in..
Well hey I want my JOTT badge to sew on my blanket as well you know!

I so love being able to say   I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO!

Whoever woke me up is going to die!

Having spent many years as a complete insomniac sometimes going days with no sleep, As my kids have got older…… My body can now actually go to sleep. My problem is when someone WAKES me up once I have gone to sleep, Whether I have had half an hour or a few hours. Once I have woken up I lay there, I can not go back to sleep, I have learnt over the years not to get up, read a book, go on Facebook because this makes it worse.. I lie there in the dark, I lie there until daylight sometimes. You may not know you have woken me up but you have. Some days I get so tired that I am finally ready to snap and kill someone… Today is one of those days.

At the moment I am sleeping on the sofa bed downstairs so actually trying to get to sleep with the hall light on is hard enough in the first place because the stop-out hasn’t got in yet… But what is worse is when the so-called stop-out wakes me up when she gets in. I then begin my long sleepless night, lying in bed in the dark, trying to get back to sleep again.. looking at the time every hour or so… In last nights case the last time I actually looked at the time was about 4.45am although I didn’t go to sleep then, Like I said that is what time I last checked the time not went to sleep.

Unlike some lazy cow who can wake up with a headache and go back to bed until 3.10pm yes I said PM. I get up early because we have school to get the boys up for. or we have other things that need doing.. Anything past 8am to me is a long lie in even at weekends. I just can’t do it I can’t lay in bed in the mornings. I have spent years getting up with kids. My body doesn’t know Lay in. Unlike a certain person who cant even put their own dirty washing in the machine if its dirty in there or keep it together in her room until its time to bring it all down and prefers to throw it on the floor in the kitchen. Nice……. Dirty Knickers on the floor

So to say that I am in the mood to kill today is an understatement. Revenge isn’t even sweet. I pushed the button on the smoke alarm for a good five mins this morning to wake the lazy mare up to see how she likes it.. and Nope that didn’t even work…….. You know what.. If the house really was on fire I would let you burn…….

Be warned this is the last time this is going to happen.. because the door will be locked at midnight Sunday night to Friday night and 1am on Friday night and Saturday night unless there is a special occasion which deems staying out later. If a certain person is locked out more than three nights… That certain person can find somewhere else to bloody live. MY HOUSE MY RULES!


I figure I might as well put this here because it doesn’t seem to go into your thick head when we tell you.


Yes Christmas wont be cancelled after all!

The Lady from Amazon kept her word…

Everything arrived on Friday Morning, so that was good, 

All we are waiting for now is a couple of parcels from other companies.  

And then that is it… everything has been sorted for Christmas… 

I always leave the boys main present until the last because after  my older kids getting into the habit of asking for something from January to September…. me getting it and then at the last min they have changed their mind……

Not getting caught out like that again.
But November is close enough to Christmas to pick up the last few bits… So I raided the savings account..
(yes I am one of those boring people who put away for Christmas through the year)
and I went with the old man to curry’s / pc world to get the boys main present… They wanted a laptop each….
So my dad and I decided we would go half on one each for the boys…   we got quite a good deal on them as well considering .
as I wanted them to have at least 500gb  hard drive and windows 8 but still keep the price down as much as possible as they don’t need that much spec on them really… so this is what we got them in the end one of these each… 
although I think I will have to get a laptop skin for each of them otherwise we will never know whose is whose its hard enough with their tablets.

Actually its a bit of a cop out really because Alex is in year 5 and has a lot of homework that he does via the pc anyway and it wont be that long until he goes up to senior school where he will need one anyway… And Ali can use one at school in year 4 plus also he has his own Voice/ speech  Recognition Software and will also have nessy fingers which means he has to learn to touch type..  that way if he ever does lose his sight completely at least he wont be out of touch with the world.

To be honest neither of them “does Toys” they have just about most of the tech stuff they want… they got tablets last year for Christmas, they have ds’s   I was going to get Ali a 3D DS  last year until I realised that with him being legally blind in one eye he can’t actually see 3D :/ so they still had their old ones.. ok they have been repaired once or twice but Ali’s was still going strong and I have replaced Alex’s that got stolen with a second-hand one not long ago.
So I was kinda stuck on what to actually get the boys this year…
They have no more space for all the trains and coaches they have for their railway set up, they have both a massive Scalextric set and a Micro Scalextric set, Airfix models they haven’t even had time to make yet because every time we go to hornby we pick up a few in the sales  (all stacked up in Allan’s Man cave)  which reminds me my Dr who Tardis is up there as well. one day I will find time to make that.

They have Meccano galore so don’t need any more of that………  (they really are retro kids lol ) and I swore I would not get them any more knex or lego as I’m not sure my feet can take standing on any more of the damn stuff .
they must have every game like monopoly, cluedo and other ones like that…. as when they are played they are put away again on top of my wardrobe so they are in like new condition still and away from Ali when he goes into meltdown where he would just wreck it all.
In fact the train stuff. Airfix, Scalextric sets and all stuff like that stays in my room when it’s not being used.   the only tech thing they have  in their room is an old xbox original and tv and virgin plus box… everything else is kept down stairs.. and that’s how it survives Hurricane Ali when he goes into one.
So I really am at a loss on what to get them this year…
Now I know I have gone overboard in years gone by,  but seriously what can I get them just for stocking fillers to open..
I couldn’t have them only having one parcel.  what do you get for kids who have most of everything they are into….. and who don’t actually do toys?

For the last couple of years we got the boys skylanders games for the Wii last year it was the Giants one.. this year they have said they didn’t want the swap force one so that killed that idea :/ admittedly they never played it much anyway.  oh yes that reminds me I do have a couple of Wii games up in the wardrobe that I had picked up months ago but still I want to get them some other little bits……. I will have to put my thinking cap on. 

Amber is easy she has already told us what she wanted from us… a new ds as she has never had one… (which ironically took less time to get here from Hong Kong than the presents I ordered on-line from the uk)  oh and she wanted the complete box set of Buffy ..  I have got her both those and a few other bits probably more than her mother will get her if last year was anything to go by as she got nothing.. oh and nothing for her birthday for the last few years either. so I guess that’s why I kinda spoil her as well even though she is 20 and has her own money and does nothing in the house at all not even get her own washing in… but still that’s another story….
Anyway as I was saying its the boys that I am stuck on.

May get them another hot wheels set they have had quite a few in the past and liked them for a while and we don’t have brat boy coming round nowadays to break it…  (yes everyday we are thankful that Jo and Adam moved away lol ) 

I already have the other presents for various people as I have picked them up throughout the year.. (yes Vickie I have yours haha I know you will be reading this so not going to say what I have got you hahahahaha)
And now All I have to do is actually get around to wrapping everything ..  arrrgghhhh!!

so as the clock counts down……  as I type there is 43 days 23 hours and 53 minutes and  30 second to go…..


I’m Back with a vengance……… Well when I get a chance to get on the pc.

Many apologies , As well as having major internet problems so I could only connect with my phone for ages and my phone hated WordPress :/

I also now have the problem of two kids getting on my pc constantly so the only chance I get to go online is around midnight when I am ready to collapse at the end of the day.

And I had to reclaim my blog……. I couldn’t log in at all, trying to explain that I have been doing this blog for years and could tell them what was in nearly every post… reclaiming a blog from WordPress is not easy…  It kept telling me my email address was no longer active………  Buttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt…..  It works fine….

Anyway I am back after a fashion I do confess time is limited as it is the summer break for the kids……..

So what’s been happening……
Where do I start………. We have been away to camp with the scout group…………. (pics below)
The one who shall not be named but was always talking bollocks and has the most obnoxious non disciplined child going has now finally moved and life is so much quieter..

Amber’s Boyfriend…….. A lovely lad NOT… had a row with her and started off shouting at us to get out and threw a handful of stones at our front room window causing loads of cracks and chips,  so big window needs replacing.  he then smashed the back windscreen on my car…… the back side window… kicked the side in all down the driver’s side and jumped up and down on my bonnet..   he then threw a stone (well actually it was a concrete ornament from the garden across the road from us)  through the back window of the landrover…… 

So  in a nutshell
We have been out and about, 
We all went to the great adventure scout camp out………  🙂
My name is Falcon when I help out at the scouts as an occasional helper.
We also collect cardboard and newspapers every Tuesday and Wednesday on behalf of the scouts…… this takes us usually from when we drop the boys at school in the morning until its time to go and collected.. them… on average we are collecting,. flat packing etc stacking in van  and then unpacking and taking to the recycle point and putting it all in a designated skip for cardboard… usually we get about 3/4 of a tonne  so hard work really..

Alex and the school team reached the Finals in the Swale Schools Cricket tournament, It was a long day for him but he did fantastic and is now the proud owner of a lovely silver medal,

I did a sugar craft course and made a few bits……..  I have a wedding cake to make so wanted to be able to do some bits for it.. 

we spent 6 hours stuck in traffic due to very poor management, to get to the Manston Airshow I was not a happy bunny, being stuck for 6 hours not even moving.. so was a 7 hour trip altogether.,  with a chatty 9 yr old… and Autistic 7 yr old  who doesnt do waiting or queuing, A diabetic disabled pensioner and a stressed partner was not good..  thankfully I had packed a picnic for the day so that was eaten before we even got there….    when we did the first port of call was of course the toilets…..  we had missed the majority of the show and the boys just did some water zorbing before we left..  to go home again… time to get home 3/4 hour……..   demand for refund of ticket in the post…
We have been to a few fun days where the boys made smoothies with  a bike and  built-in blender ,
We have had sports day where again Alex won a medal for coming second..  He joined the cricket club and athletics club after school so loves all this kind of stuff.
We Took Ali to wormshill and bredgar railway for a birthday treat.  again we go every year for his birthday and he loves going..

After the scout camp out where they had bike riding activities and of course Alex couldn’t do it because he didn’t know how to ride a bike.. (Yes I know i am a bad mummy but I dont let the boys play out so he never had a chance to really ride a bike ) 

So Anyway………….. We took Alex to the park to teach him how to ride his bike… it took him about 4 mins and that was it he was off riding round the park,  so a trip to halfords later and he has a shiny new bike 🙂 we had promised the boys when they could ride a bike properly we would buy a brand new one …   I knew We never should have promised that one lol
we have now put stabilisers on the smaller bike we had that Alex learnt on  for Ali.We had to order some special ones to fit the size of the wheel and of course take the weight of a larger child but sadly his lack of co-ordination and visual problems have made it rather hard for him :/ but we will keep trying… Plan B is if he can’t learn to ride a bike get him a proper scooter.  not the micro one like he has but a good one with pneumatic tyres and proper brakes…..  we will see how he goes.

So in a nutshell that is about it…
Hopefully I have made sure that my blog will stay safe from now on and I will be able to log in…,  Our internet access will be ok after a replacement of three faulty modems…….  and my kids don’t spend every second that we are indoors on the computer……. 

I will catch up on everything and I’m really sorry to the lovely Jodi I have read your books and thought they were fantastic… and will get the reviews written asap 🙂
So until the next time………………………..
Here is a little collection of pics……