Catching up after a busy week

So last week we went to Alex’s football presentation,  I baked 120 cakes, they all went, I made two trays of egg sandwiches with a hint of paprika, they all went.  I was the designated driver so Allan could have a drink as he had the last week off work,  two pints and he had, had enough, in fact, he left the majority of his second pint grrrrrrrrrrr 😡 😡
If I had known he was going to be a lightweight he could have driven because with it being two years since dad passed and being busy baking, making sandwiches etc I could certainly have had a drink, oh well I made up for it once we were home and had a couple of G&T’s 🙄 😯 anyway it was a lovely evening and as always Alex made us very proud. 😀

PicMonkey Collage

The rest of the last week we have been having a major declutter. and I mean major, we went through our bedroom, sorted stuff into piles, of either put away, get rid of or put in the loft, or give away,   we gave away the cot bed and all the baby related bits, such as clothes, walkers, travel cot, potty, you name it, that we had for when we had the adopted granddaughters ie, Shelby, Shannon and Georgia, stay over and then when Darren our grandson was born all the stuff we had for him.  all passed on via the free groups on facebook,  we even had bought a new cot bed mattress after the girls for Darren but it was never used as he was still in the travel cot when we last had him sleep over.   

We even had a declutter of the front room getting rid of a nest of tables that were taking up room, sorting the boxes of wedding stuff that was left over that I hadn’t sold, into another two piles of to keep and put in the loft. or give away on the free groups, the junk that was for some reason kept by Allan as it may have a use and a broken coffee table went on the front garden with the old desk, a chair, a ripped PC chair, and one of my year old kitchen hydraulic kitchen stools that Alex had used and that had broken , 😡 that was in Alex’s room along with all the black sacks from the boys room of old toys, ripped books and very old and tatty stuffed toys that Ali could finally part with.  oh and the packing from the new tumble dryer I had to buy a few weeks ago.  needless to say, the front garden was piled high with junk and rubbish, and next door was starting to moan,   😳 The original plan was Allan was going to take it to the tip on Friday but despite him being on holiday he was called in, the same for today and tomorrow. so yesterday while he was at work Alex and I broke everything up,  we filled the car with the 15 bags of rubbish first, and the second tip run we took all the bits of wood and broken furniture.  This evening, before Allan gets in, the plan is to get as much as possible up in the loft, well get Alex to put as much as possible in the loft. 

This week, well until payday on the 18th we are skint after direct debits and bills are paid, so I am trying to use as much as possible out of the freezer so some of our dinners will be a little funky, to say the least, sometimes there are a few bits of everything but not enough for all so I will be mixing it up a bit and there will be no trips out for the boys in their second week of the Easter holidays, not that they actually want to go anywhere.  maybe if Allan gets a day off we can go to the country park for a walk if the lovely weather holds out.  it’s like a lovely summers day out there today and tomorrow promises to be even warmer hitting 21°

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How did I manage to get so much done in the last week, it’s simple,  my FB jail term was extended to 7 days 😡 for trying to comment on something when I thought my 3-day ban was up, now the only thing worst than not having internet access to get on facebook is to actually be able to see and read everything but not being able to comment, like or post,  hence actually getting on with things in the house 😆 although If I am honest, I could do with a 30 day ban to get this place sorted right out and do a major spring clean 🙄  😕 😆 😆 

2 years have passed

It’s two years since I drove with Allan and the boys to London, dropped the boys off with some friends in Greenwich and we made our way to St Thomas’ hospital where my dad was in intensive care being kept alive by machines basically,  we watched him for hours although sedated we could see he was in pain and suffering, The decision had been made the day before on what was going to happen,  we sat by his side while they turned off the dialysis and other machines and held his hand, he mumbled a bit and over a few hours drifted off and passed away.

the last two years have been hard, so many things going wrong for us but again some things for the better,  its been a long struggle because I went from being able bodied so to speak to becoming disabled within a week of him passing, due to smashing my foot up, ironically on his mobility scooter, 

Today I am missing him as I do every day, but time seems to have flown by and my boys seem to have grown up. 

In about ten mins when I have finished writing this and having my coffee I will be busy today finishing off the cakes I have made for Alex’s presentation evening tonight, and making a big tray of sandwiches. life goes on as usual. Tomorrow would have been my dad’s birthday as well, 
We will have a drink tonight and think of him and remember how annoying he could be, how much hard work he was, trying to juggle looking after a family and caring for him.  but we will also  remember him with love. 

Image result for miss you dad two years since you passed

Things you forget to do when someone passes away.

When my dad passed away I was left with dealing with all the accounts,   closing bank accounts, dealing with the utilities, tax and council tax, all the usual stuff and thought I had covered everything. that was until the other day when I was in Sainsburys and used my nectar card.  

The lady at the till informed me that I had loads of points on my card, which I knew as we were saving them up. and I suddenly realised that I had used my dads card which I had in my purse as I was the one who always took him shopping and we used the same card all the time. Allan has a nectar account as well and I am an additional card holder on that so I had taken out the wrong card when I was in the shop.  
So I went online to customer services to let them know that he was deceased and explained that I had used his card by mistake and put points on it recently even though he passed in April.

The guy I spoke to was great.  asked me some security questions about my dads account which I knew and then said as I was next of kin that all points could be transferred over to my account, and my dad’s account would be closed.. he also said that there was an additional card holder on the account.  he  informed me that there was an additional card holder on the account and I realised that was my mums card who passed away over 11 years ago.

So now both cards are cancelled, the account closed and points accumulated will be transferred over to my account in 24 hours. 

So full credit to nectar for being so helpful.

Now I’m sitting here wondering what else I have forgotten to close……..

nectar_card

So much to catch up on

I’ll be honest so much has gone on since last year that I’ve not been in the frame of mind to do anything for months. the run up to Christmas was hectic, between school activities, working, courses and the usual preparations
But Christmas itself was lovely. We spend half the day with my dad over for xmas dinner. Little did we know it would be the last. And then in the evening we had friends over with their little girls and we had a great time-sharing presents. Boxing day was the same. Hectic and a time for friends.  After a couple of false Alarms in the following week. My gorgeous grandson was born on new year’s day. I was so honoured to be there at his birth. Wow things are so different from the other end of things.  After that things went downhill for us.
The head gasket went on Allan’s car and it was declared deceased and of course just after xmas finances or lack of them meant that we couldn’t afford to fix or replace it. Ali got chicken pox and had spots everywhere so missed nearly two weeks of school and then at the beginning of Feb my dad wasn’t feeling well. So went home early after his usual visit in the morning. I spoke to him in the evening and he said he was feeling  a bit better. The next morning we hadn’t heard from him by 10am so went round the flat to find him collapsed on the floor. This resulted in him being taken to hospital. For the next 5 weeks I spent everyday bar three going back and forth to the main hospital in Medway which is about a half hour drive away. and then he was transferred to St Thomas’ hospital in London. So I spent another 3 weeks going back and forth to London, sadly the day before his birthday he passed away. During the whole time he was in hospital i was still having to go around his flat everyday to feed his fish and check mail etc. So three days before his funeral I am boxing stuff up as we had to clear the flat and I  trip over his mobility scooter and hurt my foot. Somehow after sitting down for an hour. I decided to man up and managed to drive home in the landrover.  The next day I was still in a lot of pain so off we went to the hospital to find out I had broken my foot in three places and cracked my heel.  So they put a cast on and told me to go back to the fracture clinic in ten days. So I ended up going to the funeral in my dad’s wheelchair. Thankfully after the ten days when I went back I had the choice, another cast for 6 weeks or an Air boot for 10 weeks. I chose the boot as I can at least take it off at night. As we arrived home I went to get out of the car and as I was getting my crutches out of the back of the car Allan shut the door on the car and caught my fingers in it.. resulting in a broken finger as well,  you have to laugh., anyway back to the boot.  At least  I take it off at night and every time I sit down although I’m not supposed to really. only to have a bath and at night after the first two weeks but of course I pay no attention to that lol . Unfortunately, it means I can’t do much in the house so we are sitting with boxes of my dads bits everywhere. Our bedroom is a store-room as I can’t get upstairs anyway (we are both sleeping on the sofa) and that’s about brought me up to date. I went back to my maths course on Monday afternoons last week  ( I’d  not been since Jan) Allan had to drop me off and pick me up as I can’t drive. But other than that ive not done anything else apart from numerous visits to solicitors to sort out my dad’s affairs with my brother. So that’s about it. Nothing else has gone on really.  So basically with the exception of Darren my grandson’s birth. This year sucks big time.

me holding Darren minutes after he was born

me holding Darren minutes after he was born

getting Darren dressed for the first time.

getting Darren dressed for the first time.

broken foot with the cast

broken foot with the cast

my Air boot until the end of June at least

my Air boot until the end of June at least

broken fingers it could only happen to me.

broken fingers it could only happen to me.

A devastating day

So much has happened since I last posted and I have been both busy and lazy. I have had highs and lows and maybe I will be able to do a full update sooner or later but Today I had to make to most difficult decision I have ever made in my life and say my final goodbye to the only man who has stood by me through thick and thin, who I admit in my younger years, I have probably put through hell and back quite a few times, but he has always been there to pick up the piece’s no matter what mistakes I made or trouble I got into.  He in turn has driven me to distraction at times, but that has never stopped me loving him. He has been the best granddad the boys could ever have asked for and loved my step daughter’s Amberleigh and Tammy as much as his own grandchildren. He was so pleased to become a great granddad to Ambers little boy Darren born on New Year’s day this year, and I’m so thankful he got to meet him. My dad has worn my mum’s wedding ring around his neck since she passed away 10 years ago and now they are finally together again. I don’t know how I would have got through today without the help of good friends lovely messages and thanks to  Michael Wass and Vampette Caz Smith who looked after the boys today while we went to the hospital, and the support from my better half,  Allan who was with me holding my hand as we sat with my dad while he slipped away to join my mum. Thanks to everyone who has offered support and sympathy you are the best and I love you all. Dad we are going to miss you but I couldn’t bare to see you in pain for any longer. I will always love you.

Whats Happening?

Well Not a lot to be honest……….. Allan has been working especially at weekends so we haven’t really been out and about much…….

Alex has got the cooking bug so at least three times a week he is cooking dinner………… 

We got the results of the Kent Test (11 plus) he took back in September….  and he passed  but has changed his mind about going to the grammar school, well we hope he has…….. I haven’t put it on the preferences for senior school choice but there again I’m not holding my breath for the school I do want him to go to as I want him to go to Westlands, Yes I know its had some bad press but at the end of the day its had excellent ofsted reports. I know the school, it has been kept up with the times and looks clean and modern in comparison to the grammar school which doesn’t look like its had a coat of paint since my oldest went there to look around.  but I have been told that westlands have an intake priority to get in..
1.  Local Authority
2. Siblings
3. Regis Manor
4. Westlands Primary
5. Maths Aptitude test….. (sadly Alex’s worst subject)
6 surrounding villages such as Iwade, and Newington
And then
7. Other areas and applicants……
And although it’s the closest senior school to us oddly we don’t fall under the catchment area… that is for Fulston Manor..
I know I have the right to appeal but I have a feeling its going to be a battle…..

We will have to wait and see now until March.

Its getting close to the end of term now and I can tell, the boys are getting tired… unfortunately we are not going to be able to go and do much over the holidays as I have to take my dad up to London to St Thomas Hospital on Monday  for  more cardio appointments…….. I’m hoping that I can go for a walk across westminster bridge and around the houses of parliament while dad is in the hospital.    Tuesday I  have to take Ali to his asthma consultant appointment at Medway hospital,  Wednesday is Alex’s doctors appointment… Thursday Ali opticians and take the old man shopping and I’m sure there was something I had to do Friday…..  Hopefully we will be able to take the boys somewhere.. or at least I will..  otherwise its going to be a very boring half term.

Other than that . Not a lot going on at the moment…….

Hate this time of year after a busy summer………… I’m busy because I’m doing my courses……. I’m now teaching on a Friday with Adults instead of children……..  So much better as I wasn’t keen on the idea of working with kids……….  Mine I tolerate…everyone else’s I can’t stand 😉 (joke) I think………….   We have stopped the cardboard collecting and to be honest there is a rather nasty atmosphere at the scouts at the moment I will go into more detail when I find out what’s going on but lets just say after we have given it our all for the last two years we are feeling rather peeved at the moment.. I have kept away and Allan just goes on a Thursday as assistant cub leader……. 

Time will tell if my theory is right………..

Willies Willies and Fucking Willies, or Not as the case may be lol

Seriously if it wasn’t bad enough with my dad and his water works problems and having to have a catheter put in, taken off, put in, taken off and again today put back in again. 
Today I spent yet another day at the hospital from 7am when we got there and they took that catheter out until gone 4pm when yes it was put back in again because my dad cant pee. 
Now after said device had been fitted yet again the nurse asked me to have a chat.  She explained that there is no physical reason why he can’t pee on his own, they have done every test in the book and bladder scans.   She personally thinks because he is on water pills because of his heart which left him in a place where he was peeing constantly and on several occasions had the odd accident (generally because he couldn’t be bothered to go) she thinks that he actually prefers having the catheter fitted as its easier for him,  Yes it’s that easy that he even forgets to empty the damn thing and has had the odd accident that way as well.

A Catheter bag hitting overflow in Asda’s is not the thing you want to see…… In fact the only way I can describe it is …  A woman in labour and her waters going… 
That was no woman that was my father………. 

Personally I think he is forgetting as I swear he is getting more and more senile.  I can tell him something like I will be half an hour late coming around this evening as I have to take the boys to a party, or something and within 5 mins of me being late I will be getting calls on my mobile asking where I am?  Or I will tell him like I had yesterday that I had to take Allan to the hospital to the same department and wont be able to pop around in the day but I had arranged for the district nurse to come out to change his bag.  We get back and there are 22 calls on the phone……….  asking… No demanding to know where I am and why I haven’t popped around, and then another one saying a district nurse popped round by chance…
Arrrggghhh..  I have pointed out his short-term memory loss and been told in no uncertain terms I have no idea what I am talking about and he is fine!

The thing is he has never had problems before until the day after his op, If you have no idea what I’m on about you have to back track to the link below.

A week later! Some things can never be unseen!

Anyway as I was saying … Today I was at the hospital all day because on one persons Willie related problems and yesterday I was there with Allan.  Why ??

Allan also has problems.

 I had to take Allan up to Medway Hospital because he has had pain in his kidneys and has had a stinging sensation and peeing blood. :/  so he got a fast track appointment to have a camera poked yep in his Willie and of course that prostrate examination, you know the kind… the one where he really should have at least asked her name first……

I had lived my whole life without seeing a prostrate examination in person and to be honest I could quite happily have carried on in my ignorance… Now I have seen not one person but two have one in the space of a month.

Of course.  He also had to have a camera poked in places no man would ever want… lets just say it stings a lot more when he pee’s now than it did before he went to the hospital.
Again……….  There are some things I would rather not have seen………

Thankfully there was nothing untoward spotted and it was as I had suggested to Allan it may have been… A kidney infection so Man Up…….
I bet he wishes he had now lol

Sadly my dads dilemma will carry on as he has been much to his disgust refereed to another clinic to try and get him used to going without his golden bag. Which means of course that I will be driving him around for the near future… Actually probably forever because I somehow have a feeling that the DVLA are going to be reluctant to give him back his driving licence.