Weddings and who to Invite

I have joined so many wedding groups on Facebook over the last month or two and one thing seems to be coming up practically every day.  Who to invite to the wedding!

For me this wasn’t really a problem, I personally don’t come from a big family. I was the youngest born and at 54 on the day of my wedding, have practically run out of relatives on both my mum’s and dad’s side.  I have one Aunt living now out of 4, my mum’s youngest sister who in her 70’s and living right up north would be unable to make the trip even if I did invite her.  I have no contact with any of my cousin’s and haven’t for over 30 odd years,  other than that I have my brother, and apart from babysitting his budgie while they are away on holiday on their boat in the south of France I have hardly any contact with at all. so the original plan was I wasn’t even going to tell him I was getting married never mind invite him.   Allan comes from a family that was split when his parents divorced when he was one, he is quite close to his sisters on his dad’s side and their mum his ex-step mother, and we see his dad usually once a year at Christmas but that’s about it. and his mum he hasn’t spoken to in about 6 years, or his sister on his mum’s side.  Anyway, he decided to be the bigger man and invite both his mum and his sister and her husband and son to the wedding reception. admittedly much to my disagreement at the time. however, it is his wedding as well and I had to respect that. 
We have invited a lot of close friends and some neighbours that we wanted to celebrate with us. and to me I consider my friends more important than my family, in fact, I consider some of my friends to be my family. 

Both Allan and my first weddings and receptions were small,  His reception was in a pub after the wedding with about 8 people there and mine was 6 people back at my mum’s house for a slice of cake afterwards.  so although we were not interested in having a big wedding as such. to us that was just the legal bit, we wanted to have a big reception to celebrate with friends,  Yes there are some who we haven’t invited who have the hump but hey we really are no more than acquaintances if I am honest.

Anyway, Allan has kept mentioning that I really should tell my brother that I have finally got divorced but am getting married as well and that we really should invite him and my sister in law to the reception.  after a lot of thought, and the fact that maybe for my dad’s sake I should at least let them know and invite them. I sent a text last night letting him know and will get an invite to them probably, later on, today.   
But I have to confess that it would be nice if they are busy at such short notice lol 

I saw this chart on a group on who to invite if you have a big family etc and thought what a great way to work out who to invite to your wedding, especially when for some if they had everyone come would be impossible to afford.  and it is holding them back on actually getting married. 

So here it is. and I hope it help’s someone. 

A day out and Much needed break at Wildwood

Yesterday  we took the boys and one of their friends William and Shelby to Wildwood.. We are members there so can go any time we want now

They did an egg hunt and then we had a picnic ….

Ali with his rather warped sense of humour kept waving the roast chicken legs at the chickens that were walking around us..  :/


Ironically Allan’s Sister and Family were there at the same time  and we never bumped into them. 😦
Such a shame as the boys would have loved playing with their friend and cousins.. they don’t see much family really as one of their Aunties is now living in Atlanta  and the other one lives in Faversham with her family…  The kids always get on great together…  They are the only family they really see now apart from my dad.

I do feel for them at times.. they are missing out on a whole extended family but it will never happen… They will never meet their other three brothers and two sisters and their family’s and their cousins.. My grandchildren.   I don’t regret the fact that they never see the wicked witch of Broomfield (I always thought it ironic that she really is a wicked nasty old witch and ended up living in a place called BROOMfield..I wonder if she now uses that more traditional form of transport)  anyway as I was saying… My Bitch I mean Witch of a mother in law and her apprentice witch… aka Allan’s mother and his other sister and her family because, if I am honest I really can’t stand them and when it comes to people who go around with their head up their arse I have no time for them or the way Allan’s mum spoke to the boys the last time she saw them at Christmas about three years back now when she spoke to Ali like dirt. and then picked on him over something.. I admit I am like a mother hen… No-One dare pick on my chick’s.  I have never told Allan he couldn’t see his mother again.. I have told him I would never see her again and neither would the boys… I would never have her in my house….   It’s his choice not to have contact with her………  Mind you she has never made an effort to have contact with either Allan or the boys so it’s a win win situation really. 

Anyway I got off track there…
Tomorrow is Chocolate day and despite the amount of chocolate there I know one thing.. the boys will probably still have chocolate left from their baskets  in the little travel fridge they have in their room… in August!!




Ali Showing the Chicken the roast leg

PicMonkey Collage

Picnic and a few of the 100’s of pictures we took today

Christmas Has Left the Building!


After a fun and food filled Christmas holiday with friends and family,


New years eve was spent with Allan’s family The nice normal ones on his dad’s side and not the Evil ones from the dark side…….. Ie… His Mother and Evil Sister……..


It was a great evening filled with laughter, food, and karaoke ….


Funny enough this is the first time we have been out and the boys haven’t wanted to leave early… they are loving spending time with their cousins…. I think we are really going to have to make an effort to have regular family get togethers….. They really do lack any family contact…… Ironic considering how many bothers and sisters they have… I know Alex knows he has older brothers and sisters but hasn’t actually asked about them but I can see it happening soon…….. Anyway… as I was saying… Christmas and New Years Eve and New Years Day are over now…..


The kids have a room full of rubbish and Now I need normality to prevail yet again..

As Normal as possible in this house.

I just needed the clutter and the chaos to be gone. Like that is ever going to happen but I live in hope.

Yes, the house is a mess but the kids are happy and everyone had a great time! well I hope they did.


Even though I do admit that the house was hardly like Santa’s grotto like it usually is In comparison to previous years, due to me not being well, it was quite minimalist without any big tree as I have said before….


ironically Now Christmas and New Years is over I actually feel ok, except maybe a little tired and the legs and hip are playing up but If I’m honest its the extra weight I have gained (yes I will do something about it soon)

and the cold damp weather oh and getting older that cause that.


I woke up this morning and thought Now it’s time to take the necessary steps in order to cure that Christmas Hangover of over eating, drinking and just excess of all that is good edible and yummy.

All I could think about is getting our house back in order after the craziness that was Christmas.

I just needed the clutter and the chaos to be gone. ok the Christmas Clutter and Chaos….


I did mention this to Allan and like a shot he was all for the idea……. By the afternoon there was not a decoration to be seen, Not only that everything was up in the loft again as well, Well everything but the Christmas door wreath which of course was out of sight out of mind…

But that will go in the loft up tomorrow.

I have never known him so keen to get up in the loft and put stuff up there… Usually I have to nag for weeks to get bits put away.


Problem is now I look at bare shelves and wonder what was actually there before……. Ok one shelf that is bear had a hamster cage but I’m not mentioning that incase the boys decide they want another one…

What I do have a strong compulsion to do is change the furniture about…… Now we don’t exactly have a lot of room to play with in the front room but even so I need to change things around… Years ago I was known for changing furniture around on a regular basis but with Ali the way he is I tend to leave things the way they are because he really hates change….. but the changes I have planned are small and I’m hoping that this time he wont kick off as much as he did last time I moved the front room about..


This year I want to de-clutter……… A friend is going to go up in the loft with Allan and de-clutter up there… I think even Allan is willing now to admit there is far too much junk up there…

Plus at some point we want to swap the boys and Amber’s rooms around… When the boys had the small room to sleep in and the big room was a play room and junk room and exercise room it was fine… but now Amber has the big room and the boys have to share the smallest room in the house and to be honest I don’t think that’s fair…… So the plan for future is move the boys bunk bed over and her bed in the small room… plus that way I never need to go in there as I have never known anyone make so much mess as she does.


once the kids rooms are done I want to do ours….. yes de-clutter there as well… and then we will work on downstairs……..


New Year New Start………..


I will probably be saying the same thing about moving bits around and sorting them out this time next year…….. The hoarder in me is slowly seeing the light, I so want to have a normal house like normal people instead of stuff everywhere……..


Now if Allan could be the same we would be well away…. My first treat to myself when I get the cash is some stair baskets to store bits in that end up being put on the stairs….

maybe once everything is de-cluttered we can actually get around to decorating… Of course finances allowing… because as usual, decorating and putting new carpet on the stairs etc cost money…… and with bills mounting up and the cost of everything doubling… finances are not stretching as far as they did before……

I have a feeling this year is going to be a hard year for all concerned… Especially us…..

But for now………. one day at a time…..



Mother of the year award……. Does not go to a certain someone!



Don’t get me wrong I know my Oldest stepdaughter Amber, has her faults and she can drive me to distraction sometimes but I do love her and I really hate to see her shit upon from a very high height.
She certainly missed out when it came to brains during some point in her creation…… However…… I have always felt a certain pity if that’s the right word for her… When it came down to anything between her sister Tammy and herself. Tammy was the one that was always spoilt… Tammy was the one that never got into trouble because Amber was always blamed… Allan and his mother were indeed very guilty of this over the years….. Right up until we had only Tammy for the weekend and as usual when the girls were about something got broken…. Tammy was sooooo Quick to point out that Amberliegh did it…. The one thing she had forgotten about was Amber was on a school trip for the week so she wasn’t with us that particular weekend…

I finally got Allan to notice that Tammy wasnt the sweet innocent one she always made out to be…

Things did get a little better for Amber… well at our house anyway… Her grandmother, Allan’s mum still treated her totally different from Tammy…

This has always been down to the fact that Amber wasn’t Allan’s real daughter… She is his step daughter…… Allan’s wife’s child… and I think deep down both Allan and his mum treated her as the outcast where Tammy was the beloved grand-daughter….

Anyway like I said Amber started to get treated a whole lot better in this house by Allan.. and was at last treated as equal to Tammy..


Skip forward… half a dozen years… And As I may have mentioned Amber now lives with us… Yes she is infuriating at times… Personally I think it’s just the fact that my status quo  in the house is tipped a little…. I’m so used to the boys that having a near 20yr female in the house can sometimes be annoying to say the least especially when it comes to the female stuff going on… Some things my boys really don’t need to know about at their age… and that infuriates me.. Plus I have never known anyone create so much washing……. but I guess when I was a teenager I was the same.. except I did my own washing…

Anyway… Amber lives with us……

Last march her mum apparently didn’t have enough money to give her, her birthday present which was £20… they of course always gave her husbands boys their birthday money… (they are adults as well) and of course Tammy her birthday presents… she gets mobile phones on contract..

Skip forward to December…… and they tell her she can have her birthday money… she goes over and oh dear they had to spend it…… In the end I give her the money and say when you get it pay me back….


Christmas comes … Amber spends Christmas day and boxing day with us along with her boyfriend Ben… Now she is last of the big spenders when it comes to Christmas but we did get her quite a few bits… I would say about £70 in total… oh and my dad gave her £50 for her Christmas present,

one present I did get for her I decided against giving her in the end but to be honest it would have been no good for her anyway as she wanted a laptop… (totally out of our price range) and not a little tablet…. so I had it instead (as it goes it was the only thing I had apart from my secret santa present but I will post about this another time ) and love it as I use it as an e reader. but on the whole she didn’t to bad really from us


Amber went over to her mum’s the day after boxing day with her boyfriends.. and got nothing, and I mean nothing at all, originally she was told she was getting a joint present between her and Ben but when they go she gets nothing at all… WTF… this is your child woman… you have had 365 days to save up to buy your daughter something for Christmas but to give her nothings… not even a couple of pound box of chocolates that is totally mean…

Amber understandably is upset by this… Secretly I think its more the materialistic part because her sister got presents…. but I can understand her being hurt… I have tried to explain to her that once you get to be an adult the presents you get at Christmas do dwindle and reduce in value… I have explained that she has disposable income of her own where her brothers and Tammy don’t so of course they are going to get presents of a higher value than she did… well actually Tammy did not from us… she had a little bag and a few lip glosses… and a selection pack total cost about £15 but then we haven’t seen her more than a few hours in the last year either…. so it’s all relative…


But I do think that Ambers Mum is being rather tight…. Actually i think she is bang out-of-order………. like I said she certainly wont be on the Mother of the year list………..

When Amber complained about the lack of present and of course birthday money she was told by her mother to Grow Up…. Well I think she will do… and I know one thing… She will remember this christmas and her mum for all the wrong reasons……

Meanwhile what Tammy got from her mum for Christmas and of course from her grandmothers as that’s where she has gone to spend the next week and no doubt baby sit on new years eve…… will be another matter……….. Again… She will be the spoilt one…

Oh the boys what did they get off their grandmother……….. Nothing……… We got a joint family card……. Their grandmother Allan’s mum didn’t even send either of them a birthday card……..

I’m actually surprised that Allan’s ex-wife and His mother never got on because they are both the most selfish bitches I have ever met…….

I love my kids…… But…………



Saw this on Facebook and my first thought was,

I did that when they were little ………….. In fact I have done it twice as each family have grown up…..



Now I’m working on getting back to staying out late and getting drunk lol


Small steps at a time, going out for lunches while they are at school, the odd rare evening out when we can afford it.


Don’t get me wrong I love my kids to death but at 50 I’m getting to the point where I want to play at being a grown up once in a while as well.

Down in the dumps, It must be the Birthday Blues

I’m Getting older again!!!

I guess the birthday curse is finally catching up with me.

For some reason I am just not excited the way I used to be years ago when I was a kid about the whole birthday thing. Funny really because when I was a kid birthdays were never a big thing.. I never had parties, well one and that was a major disaster when I was little as some kids nanny took over…

My birthday has always been close to Christmas so I usually got some crappy clothes or something.. If I wanted something big it was a combined birthday and Christmas present which of course I got at Christmas..

Yes we got one present and a stocking at Christmas… so I had to choose wisely.

Despite all that I still used to jump up and down with joy the whole so called birthday week and the counting of days till the actual day.

I guess I am just getting old and turning into a boring old Hag minus the wrinkles!! lol!!! Ok if I wasn’t so fat there would be wrinkles, well more than I have anyway.

For the past few days I am feeling heavy hearted about so many things that I should have done and the things I regret doing. Damn!! I don’t do the things I should have and the things I did just makes me regret about doing it!!! I guess that’s LIFE!! Always running towards the things you don’t have and when you have it you just regret having it isn’t it??? I am thinking all the not so intelligent things at the moment and it’s cracking me up literally!!


I saw someone post a quote yesterday and this kind of has meaning today because seriously I don’t know if I can even explain how I am feeling.


I am not a materialistic person honestly I am not… whenever I have spare money to spend it goes on the kids, House or Allan, I have spent over £100 just on Allan this year for Christmas.. what with his Arsenal membership, Then he wanted a compressor, then it was some hair grooming kit… WTF?? the twat is bald….. Oh its for other bits to trip away.. Then I have a t shirt for him because he knows about the other bits.. oh and some smellies plus no doubt I will pick up a bottle of Jamesons for him as well…


I have saved up some cash and transferred it over to a bank card for him so he could have some cash to actually buy me a present.. but I know so far that all but £15 has been spent on other bits.. £20 alone for bits for the puppy.. then he needed petrol… as you see… £50 has now gone down to £15 and I can guarantee that the rest will be spent on something that Allan needs to get…


He had at least 50 on another card as well but can also guarantee that it will be spent on stuff he wants.


Last year my dad bought Allan a razor which cost well over £130 I know because I ordered it for my dad… I got £20… but because we had been invited to a party and Allan had nothing to wear.. we ended up spending it on a jacket to match his suit trousers…… I will get it back he says… One year on I am still waiting…..


Anyway… Its like Déjà vu

My dad has this clothing catalogue, chums, Its mostly mens wear but there are some bits for women. he brought it round the other day and said if there is anything you want let me know.. I look. I looked to be honest it was full of granny shit.. nothing I was interested in… Allan saw some long john’s and said he would get those… so dad comes round… asks about it… Allan shows him the long john’s oh and some vests… (where the fuck did vests come from?) total price £74… Allan says oh we can have a pair each… Like I want fucking long john’s…

Ordered… dad says there you go that’s your birthday present…


Happy Birthday to me… I am now the proud owner of a suit jacket from last year and two pairs of long john’s and two fucking vests this year


 I know I am a hard person to buy for..

Like I said I am not really that materialistic when it comes to stuff for me…

I like to choose my own clothes and shoes etc so hate it when people buy me stuff like that… I am not a smellies kind of person.. I have bottles and bottles of perfume upstairs that I have accumulated over the years. I don’t want kitchen bits because I have practically everything there could ever be invented and If I don’t have it, its because I don’t want it or need it. Besides again its something I would rather buy myself.

 No point in buying me chocolates…… Allan and the kids usually end up eating them as of course I am expected to share… Allan picked me up a box of chepo choc’s one year on mothers day.. It had 4 in it… (last min rush over the shop just before it closed on mothering sunday of course)  yep 4 in it  one each…..

Music and Dvd’s I can download myself… (One year Allan bought me the brand new UB40 cd because it would be nice to have the original instead of a downloaded one, guess who is the big UB40 fan in the house)

See where I am going with this.. I know I am not an easy person to buy for…

but for fuck sake I am getting sick and tired of being the only person in the world who gets a card bought on their birthday.. if I am lucky from the shop because he never has time to buy one.. or the money…

Just for once it would be nice to have a little something just for me, something I didn’t expect, something that a little thought had been put into it… I try and do this for everyone else.. I always try and make birthdays special in some way…

I do this because I know what its like to have such a crappy day..


My dad is and never has been a big birthday card sender my mum used to be the one who dealt with all that..


And Of course Allan never thinks to get me a card from the kids, I think this is what usually gets to me the most…

I have had 8 kids… 7 living and I don’t get a card from any of them… The older ones I have long ago given up thinking about receiving cards from.. I know its not going to happen again in my lifetime..

 Why am I feeling so Down????

Maybe its because I’m going to be 50 this year..

Who knows!!

Maybe its because both boys have been unwell, its half term and because I am now full of cold and everything seems to be getting on top of me.

Maybe its because in the last week or so we have ended up with another dog.. which is something I really did not want as I know the hard work with the training etc…

Maybe its because we have ended up baby sitting two more snakes while someone else has to sort their lives out.. Ok I know snakes are no trouble and they are going on top of the wall unit but still its something else we have to take responsibility for in the house.


Maybe its because I just cant seem to get on top of things at the moment.. what with Christmas approaching.. Finances being tight…


Maybe its because I am just a miserable cow..


Wine… Wine is the answer… I have bought myself some Wine…..

Yes I even like to buy my own wine as I know which one I like and there are so many I don’t. 

I was Never like that… Im sure I wasnt.. ever………….. Never…….

Of course I’m referring to my step daughter Amber, Not even technically my step daughter… I’m not sure where she falls when it comes to relationship, She is Allan’s step daughter from his first… (only) wives first marriage..
He took on Amber as his own when he married his wife at the time… although they were only living together a few years he carried on seeing amber along with his daughter with his wife Tamara , and here we are now… she has finally slip with her boyfriend that she lived with for a year and come to live with dad…….

the first few months she hardly went out but now… she is never in… ok she will be 20 next March but she is a very young 20 yr old.

When she first started going out Allan used to get hold of her to find out what time she would be in.. He has given up on it now…
The clothes she wears would make any prostitute jealous.. I’m not a prude by any means and yes I wore short skirts when I was that age… but Seriously I was never that bad..  And I knew how to sit… I mean seriously she can be on the sofa and sitting there legs wide apart with short shorts on and leaving nothing to the imagination… Wings on show is not a good look at certain times of the month… You should tell a 5 yr old to sit in a more lady like position you shouldn’t have to tell a nearly 20 yr old.

Anyways… As I was saying now she goes out in the morning and comes back in the morning.. usually making the dog bark when it’s about 3.30am… I always leave a meal for her in the microwave but she has been known to take some fish fingers or something round her friends house at the bottom of the road…

Yes I was young once but I did know how to compose myself… And If I came back covered in love bites even one on my neck I coped hell…. She came home covered in them and not just the neck… not a good look and very hard to explain to an 8 yr old when he is asking about them.  It actually got to the point where Allan has had to speak to her boyfriend about them… fair enough she doesn’t look like a complete tramp now but close…

we even have extra lodgers… she has been scratching her head and everywhere else stupid for the last few weeks, funny enough since she started hanging around with her friends and boyfriend up the road.

anyway a check the other day revealed head lice… well that would explain the mad itching… I have checked again and not found any more but Have still been out and bought the treatment… if for nothing else but peace of mind that if the boys get them I can now treat them straight away. 

I think the straw that broke the camels back was today… first of all I went to brush my hair… bearing in mind its very short so I know it’s not my hair in it… The brush was covered in black hair… Not mine..

The just after we had got the boys home, She came in… went to the first aid box and opened it and starting looking through it… “what you done”? says Allan… oh it’s not for me… it’s for Alfie down the road, I need a big plaster that will cover his elbow as he has hurt himself….   ok I am one of these people who likes to keep a well stocked first aid box… one of the things you learn when you have a big family. And it’s not that long really since Alex did his elbow and I like to keep some spare big dressings because he scar looks still quite fragile so to speak. I reckon one fall and it would open again and I want to be prepared and of course for any other accidents that may happen… 
Anyway as it goes there was two of the big ones we bought for Alex… ok they don’t break the bank but lets face it they are at least £2 each  and you have to go to a chemist… of course we all know accidents never happen at reasonable hours when everything is open… that’s just sods law.

If she had said first it wouldn’t have narked me so much its the fact that she just helped herself to them for someone else…    of course had she asked we would have said yes if there is enough there..
Anyway Allan gave her the dressing and off she went… and at the time of writing this 2am she still hasn’t been back in..

This Morning we couldn’t resist it when she came in last night about 3.45am we know it was after 3.30am because Vickie has been with us a few days on the sofa and she didn’t settle to sleep or at least try to until after half three.. 

My Facebook status this morning…

Karma is playing rock music FULL BLAST at 9am once the boys have gone to school, and getting your own back on a certain young lady who wakes us up when she comes in at about 3.30am in the morning 🙂

despite the fact that Allan has told her to tidy her room up as its was a tip and he couldn’t even get to the bed to put some bits away as it’s a storage bed… and made her tidy the bathroom as she usually leaves that a mess… yes this is me moaning the least house proud person going but come on.. pubes on soap is not a good thing in any house.. and none of us use soap..
I don’t know who to blame really,, the girl has no self-respect.. she will go off with anyone who pays her attention, she flirts like mad with all the lads…. dresses in very short skirts, shorts etc and pulls them up… rolls her t-shirt up at the bottom as well as pulling it down at the top so half her bra is always on show..
Like I said she has no idea how to sit.. or anything..  the constant scratching of her head or other places past the waistband… is driving me nuts… she has a cold and we get the most disgusting sound effects going when she is snorting away or trying to bring phlegm up , seriously a docker would be put to shame…  

Now neither of my girls acted this way ever , I never acted this way… surely it’s not normal now for young ladies to be like this with no self-respect or manners
oh look at me talking… even with my past I honestly don’t think I was like that…   Was I???

I’m now just wondering at what age it stops being child abuse and starts being assault.. because the next time I see her walking around with her boobs and bra hanging out all covered in love bits… and her skirt or dress rolled up so much you can see the crutch of her knickers and her bum from the back view… (she honestly can’t see this and thinks we are having a go at her all the time) 
The next time I have to say to her sit properly the boys don’t want to see everything.
The next time she comes in at silly hours of the morning and wakes up the boys and everyone else in the house…
I want to slap her….
Sorry just really narked and in one of those moods today..

Found some pics of when I was in my late teens and how I dressed, even as a fancy dress outfit… I covered up more…

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