A week with uninvited visitors to the area

Last Tuesday, the green that goes through the whole estate had visitors set camp up,  as you can see in this picture. they basically took over the whole of it, En masse

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Our house is right down the end opposite the yellow field of rapeseed, both boys have to walk all through the green and all the way up on their way to school, which means they would have to walk right through the whole campsite. 
Now, this is not a traveller bashing post by any means, I have to say that the ones I spoke to were polite, friendly and even apologetic for the inconvenience and when I had explained about an incident that Alex had they said they were disgusted by the behaviour of some of the others with them, I am a live and let live sort of person and I know this is their chosen way of life,  although there was a vigilante approach from the majority of the locals who were not happy with the way the animals were kept, *horses and dogs*  I admit that dogs were running loose and yes there was noise at night, and they did have their carts and horses going up and down the road late at night. so there was quite a disturbance to some, and yes as always people did feel threatened by them.  Alex was shouted at by some of the kids on his way to school, *I drove Ali half the way to school for two reasons, one because I wasn’t sure if his allergy was to something along the walk and two because he doesn’t do people and was scared to walk past them.  The council acted quickly and notice was served and they all left the site on Friday.  Unfortunately, there was a lot of mess left behind despite the council providing three big bins for them, and a council cleanup had to be done immediately after they left, you really don’t want to know what was in the bushes,

And we are not talking about dog and horse poop!! 


Although down our end of the green, there was one visitor all the kids loved. 🙂  

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Anyway, Monday things will be back to normal and Ali is going to walk to school and I will be sitting at home very nervous in case I get a call to say he has been taken ill again 
 

Domestic havoc

Looking around this house and it’s messy…..again.

The party of summer is over, and the groove of school is upon us. we are in the the third week back now…

Anyways  My house is a mess.  A time-consuming, fixable mess that I resent having to clean.
Everywhere I look I see visual chaos – stacks of books on the landing, clothes that need to be folded and put away upstairs now I have brought them in from the washing line.
I have said it before but I fear that I am one pile away from being a guest star on Hoarders.
You may say I am slightly exaggerating . It really isn’t that bad but to me It is.

I spent hours cleaning, folding washing and feeling organised on the weekend only to turn around and find it messy again. 

In fact yesterday I cleaned up again, but you wouldn’t know it today. There’s popcorn, paper, clothes and towels all over the floor and dishes to be done (I just loaded the dishwasher last night, how did they all get dirty again?).

I have bed wetting washing to do….Again (when will that ever end I have had all these kids and not one was a bed wetter until I had Ali, ). I have been told its a possibility because he is autistic… I know its not every night in fact its only once every couple of weeks, just when we think we have cracked it.. we get the accident, 😦

I really don’t want to do any of it and am feeling quite overwhelmed by the constant chores that seem to invade my life. I have Allan at home with me at the moment and yes he helps but not much… he will do an odd DIY job for me and then make twice as much mess as there was before, he never puts anything away… he will start big jobs like sorting all he books out on the shelves in our room… stack 100’s up on the landing to go into the loft and that’s as far as its got. Having a teenager girl… Well 20 next march is not much help either as she just makes more mess, I have never known anyone trash a bathroom like she can when she has a shower… she used soap… I mean WTF.. who uses soap nowadays?? we all use shower gel or bath cream but not her she uses soap and its always covered in hair. EWWWEEE!

I know how my parents felt now as she gets up, showers, goes out… (I used to work but she just goes out with friends and boyfriend) she comes in late at night and I’m talking 2 or 3 am and has her dinner.. I leave he’s in the microwave so at least I know she has eaten something. an old saying was brought to my attention the other day by a friend… “you treat this place like a hotel” I am now holding back from saying it as I remember my mother saying that to me.

Oh And then there is the washing just put by the machine for it to magically be done for her ready to wear next time. I can feel the annoyance kicking in and these feelings simmer within me as I attempt to clean and clear up and am continually met by extra demands of the boys, the man, the step daughter. I am desperately trying to stay calm and not take my annoyance out on the kids honest, but I feel my attempts becoming very strained. This anger and annoyance is sitting in my throat, just waiting to escape by way of yelling, slamming something down, or simply falling apart momentarily.

I’m hormonal after a fact in that I am nearly 50 but still not gone completely through the change.. (that’s not helping), I’m annoyed, I couldn’t be bothered and all I want to do is sit down with a cup of tea and watch a dvd or go on the pc and go on facebook,  in the comfort of a nice clean house and no interruptions. In an ideal world we would win the lottery and I would have “Staff” clear up after everyone So what do I do? Firstly, stop. Right now, stop in my tracks, take a few deep breaths and reflect on what I’ve been thinking. Look at this opening paragraph. It is full of conversation that is in conflict with the reality of what is presently going on and the reality of life as a parent. It is this resistance of reality that is causing my stress and the simmering emotion of anger. Anger is caused because we enter into these conversations in our minds about how something shouldn’t be the way that it is. We are in conflict between what is and what we believe it ‘should’ be. The house is messy right now! This is reality. As part of the agreement made between me and my partner when he was in full time employment, and how we share the workload, I am responsible for the upkeep of the house, him the garden and the DIY jobs,

This is reality. The kids need me to help them with things. This is reality. As a mum there is lots of tasks that I need to do. This is reality. This is not the only part of my life. It is just parts of the goods and bads that come with everything in life. That is also reality. There is no point allowing myself to enter into conversations in my mind about how it should be different to the way that it is and how I don’t want to do it, because this is only going to cause me to feel angry and resentful. Do I really want to feel angry or resentful? Do I enjoy having these feeling? Of course not I love my boys more than anything in the world. So if the reality is that you have to do the housework and are regularly interrupted, how are you going to stop feeling angry or resentful? Change the way I think about it.

The first thing I need to do when I start to notice how bad I feel, is to shift my focus from what isn’t happening, to the reality of the situation, and then on to what I’m going to do about this new reality. So how can I look at this situation differently? What are the good aspects to my life that I can focus on? I get to be a stay at home mum. I have a partner who doesn’t care about a bit of mess here and there and doesn’t pressure me to keep it pristine clean. I have two healthy, happy boys. I am grateful that I even have so many things that it can make a house messy. I have a roof over my head. There was a time when I had the clothes I stood up in and nothing else.. I had lost the lot. This is good.

I can feel that heavy feeling in my body starting to lift. This part of my life is not the only part of my life. I went out the other day, I met up with friends for coffee, I had a bath the other night and relaxed, last night the kids were in bed early and I got to watch Master chef and the cupcake girls, sometimes my house is clean,

I always make sure I cook or provide a proper meal for the boys, that I am up to date with the washing so they wear clean clothes to school every day, I get quiet time 5 days a week when the kids are at school but then I have to go out, be it shopping or socialising. So what am I now going to do? Well because I changed my thinking to being back in alignment with reality and have consciously decided to look at the situation from a different more expanded perspective, I am now ready to tackle the reality of the messy house again.

Do I like it? No.

Am I going to all of a sudden love doing housework and chores? No. But I’m not feeling angry and overwhelmed by it. The house may be untidy at times, but then my boys are happy, we go out as a family, I get to see my friends, I don’t have to spend hours every day totally cleaning the house top to bottom because that is what is expected of me. I have stopped expecting it of myself. Yes it gets me down when the place looks like a bomb has hit it and no one does anything to the point where they would rather step over a book back or pair of shoes on the floor rather than pick it up.. ok in all fairness Allan does help out especially when I was ill. but then he is also guilty of making a lot of the mess.

Do I intend to spend my whole life picking up after them… NO… will I try to make time to tidy up when they are at school… Probably… Maybe……. It depends…

Now, time to stop writing and start cleaning! or I could just do something else!!  I’ll get to it later.


Chaos And Destruction Their Work Here Is Done!!!

I’m not actually sure who has caused the most chaos and destruction or just plain mess this week….

Allan, The Boys or the Dog!!

I could say Allan as I have tools in the middle of the kitchen floor, Tools in the hallway, Tools all over the floor and bed in the spare room, Tools on the top landing..

Reason being he is still doing the shed…… My own personal kitchen storage space….

This would take any other mortal a day or two.. From said erection to wiring, insulating, flooring etc..

In this house It has taken about 3 weeks now, not to mention I still have the tools in the hallway from when he fixed his trailer lighting board over a month ago..

To say Allan is not very good at putting away anything when he is done is a tad of an understatement..

Why don’t I put the stuff away you ask… Well three reasons really.

1 I am not privy to a key to his tool cupboard upstairs in the spare room,

2 He made the mess He can clear it up.. besides If I do it then apparently things get lost..

and

3. I have just lost the will to live with all his mess

Now The topping on the cake here is that both boys take after their father..

I have to yell, plead, scream and bribe to get them to tidy up anything at the best of times but this week has been a doozy

To start the week off, Alex on Sunday decided to join the ranks of being a petty criminal and while at B&Q’s with his dad and granddad took a liking to a padlock and decided to help himself to it.

this crime was not discovered until later on in the evening… Offending item of course confiscated and child reprimanded.. And DS and Mp3 player removed from his possession for a while .

Ali on the other hand has been on a mission to be as destructive as possible this week, Breaking his robot toys, breaking anything really..  resulting in his poor teddy having to have his Arm sewn back on yesterday and his leg tonight..

In fact this week both boys have become Weapons of Mass Destruction.

But if the Men folk of the house haven’t caused enough problems and mess this week the dog had to join in..

I went shopping today and when I got back everything was fine… I then did the school run in the afternoon with Jo… Whilst at the school waiting for the boys to come out Allan reminded me to collect the prescription’s for both him and Ali so when we got back from the school in Jo’s car, I got the boys in my car, ran in to pick up my purse.. and then left the house again..

We went to the chemist.. got prescriptions.. went to the garage and put some petrol in my car ready for tomorrow and then popped in the shop opposite the village to pick up some castor sugar so I can do some baking over the weekend… total time elapsed about 3/4 hour at the most..

We get in…  anyway this evening I go upstairs to put the boys to bed and notice a little bit of foam on the top landing… hmmmmm I wonder what that is off… I notice my bedroom door is open… look in and

The bloody dog has ripped our memory foam mattress to shreds.. or should I say chunks.. it’s everywhere.   AAARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Now this wouldn’t have been possible if Allan had put the lock on the top of the door of our bedroom like I have been asking him to for the last three months..

he got the boy’s room one done, and the spare/play room one done but never got round to doing our’s…despite my nagging and nagging loads of times.

Well its done now.. took him 5 mins to put the little bolt on…

kinda reminds me of bolting the stable door after the horse has run away..

Result being..

We have a very expensive shopping trip to make to buy a new mattress… Allan will be sleeping on the sofa and me on the chair until said shopping trip is done…

We have a dog that is very subdued and not left his bed except to nip out to the garden… HE KNOW’S WHAT HE HAS DONE!!!

We have two boys who have done nothing but constantly fight all week still arguing in their bedroom last I heard..

you know what.. I’m surprised im not as bald as Allan,  This week is enough to make anyone pull their hair out..

ROLL ON NEXT WEEK!!

What ever you throw at me it can’t be as bad as this week!!!!!