Mother of the year award……. Does not go to a certain someone!

 

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Don’t get me wrong I know my Oldest stepdaughter Amber, has her faults and she can drive me to distraction sometimes but I do love her and I really hate to see her shit upon from a very high height.
She certainly missed out when it came to brains during some point in her creation…… However…… I have always felt a certain pity if that’s the right word for her… When it came down to anything between her sister Tammy and herself. Tammy was the one that was always spoilt… Tammy was the one that never got into trouble because Amber was always blamed… Allan and his mother were indeed very guilty of this over the years….. Right up until we had only Tammy for the weekend and as usual when the girls were about something got broken…. Tammy was sooooo Quick to point out that Amberliegh did it…. The one thing she had forgotten about was Amber was on a school trip for the week so she wasn’t with us that particular weekend…

I finally got Allan to notice that Tammy wasnt the sweet innocent one she always made out to be…

Things did get a little better for Amber… well at our house anyway… Her grandmother, Allan’s mum still treated her totally different from Tammy…

This has always been down to the fact that Amber wasn’t Allan’s real daughter… She is his step daughter…… Allan’s wife’s child… and I think deep down both Allan and his mum treated her as the outcast where Tammy was the beloved grand-daughter….

Anyway like I said Amber started to get treated a whole lot better in this house by Allan.. and was at last treated as equal to Tammy..

 

Skip forward… half a dozen years… And As I may have mentioned Amber now lives with us… Yes she is infuriating at times… Personally I think it’s just the fact that my status quo  in the house is tipped a little…. I’m so used to the boys that having a near 20yr female in the house can sometimes be annoying to say the least especially when it comes to the female stuff going on… Some things my boys really don’t need to know about at their age… and that infuriates me.. Plus I have never known anyone create so much washing……. but I guess when I was a teenager I was the same.. except I did my own washing…

Anyway… Amber lives with us……

Last march her mum apparently didn’t have enough money to give her, her birthday present which was £20… they of course always gave her husbands boys their birthday money… (they are adults as well) and of course Tammy her birthday presents… she gets mobile phones on contract..

Skip forward to December…… and they tell her she can have her birthday money… she goes over and oh dear they had to spend it…… In the end I give her the money and say when you get it pay me back….

 

Christmas comes … Amber spends Christmas day and boxing day with us along with her boyfriend Ben… Now she is last of the big spenders when it comes to Christmas but we did get her quite a few bits… I would say about £70 in total… oh and my dad gave her £50 for her Christmas present,

one present I did get for her I decided against giving her in the end but to be honest it would have been no good for her anyway as she wanted a laptop… (totally out of our price range) and not a little tablet…. so I had it instead (as it goes it was the only thing I had apart from my secret santa present but I will post about this another time ) and love it as I use it as an e reader. but on the whole she didn’t to bad really from us

 

Amber went over to her mum’s the day after boxing day with her boyfriends.. and got nothing, and I mean nothing at all, originally she was told she was getting a joint present between her and Ben but when they go she gets nothing at all… WTF… this is your child woman… you have had 365 days to save up to buy your daughter something for Christmas but to give her nothings… not even a couple of pound box of chocolates that is totally mean…

Amber understandably is upset by this… Secretly I think its more the materialistic part because her sister got presents…. but I can understand her being hurt… I have tried to explain to her that once you get to be an adult the presents you get at Christmas do dwindle and reduce in value… I have explained that she has disposable income of her own where her brothers and Tammy don’t so of course they are going to get presents of a higher value than she did… well actually Tammy did not from us… she had a little bag and a few lip glosses… and a selection pack total cost about £15 but then we haven’t seen her more than a few hours in the last year either…. so it’s all relative…

 

But I do think that Ambers Mum is being rather tight…. Actually i think she is bang out-of-order………. like I said she certainly wont be on the Mother of the year list………..

When Amber complained about the lack of present and of course birthday money she was told by her mother to Grow Up…. Well I think she will do… and I know one thing… She will remember this christmas and her mum for all the wrong reasons……

Meanwhile what Tammy got from her mum for Christmas and of course from her grandmothers as that’s where she has gone to spend the next week and no doubt baby sit on new years eve…… will be another matter……….. Again… She will be the spoilt one…

Oh the boys what did they get off their grandmother……….. Nothing……… We got a joint family card……. Their grandmother Allan’s mum didn’t even send either of them a birthday card……..

I’m actually surprised that Allan’s ex-wife and His mother never got on because they are both the most selfish bitches I have ever met…….

Pink Vs Blue………… teenagers and attention seeking……….. Blurgghhhhhhhh

I am probably going to sound really hard and harsh and have no heart but I really cant stand attention seeking threats to kill yourself. From experience of losing two very close friends Obviously not at the same time to suicide neither one said a word… neither even let on they had problems… neither told anyone they were in such a dark place they needed help, someone to talk to or were even contemplating taking their own life. Which is probably why it annoys me so much when people do post attention seeking status updates such as they are going to kill themselves.. or send you texts.

 

It’s normal for teenage girls to need attention and approval. However, attention-seeking becomes a problem when it happens all the time. to me it is trying to make tragedies out of trivial concerns to get your sympathy.

The way to handle it is to not to reply and beg them to not kill themselves. Give them the suicide prevention hotline number and stop talking to them. simple as….. Sorry but I see the same people threatening to kill themselves all the time… All they want is a mass of people telling them how much they are loved, and not to do it….

 

Allan is dealing with this at the moment, He knows better now than to ask me to interfere… I seriously have no sympathy for attention seeking… I do have sympathy for people who ask for help……….

 

You know I am sooooo glad I only have the boys to deal with now…..

I cant be doing with Teenage girls…….

I had two but I never had the problems Allan faces.

 

On the subject of teenage girls we have another battle on our hands.. the battle of the bedroom

when Amber moved in we cleaned out the bedroom bought her a new bed got her a wardrobe.. gave her a chest of draws etc she trashes the room every day… now bearing in mine she is 20 in march… at her age I had my own place… it was clean and tidy…

 

this is her bedroom… take my word for it I have actually cropped out personal items that no young lady should leave lying all over her bedroom floor… certainly not things a 6 and 8 yr old should see lying around.

this is before how I tidied it and with the brand new bed, mattress etc

 

this is her room AFTER I have picked up 5 dirty towels… actually that was why i went in there to get all the bath sheets that had gone missing .

  And yes that pillow and bedding is supposed to be white…… despite being asked continuously for her to strip the bed so I can get the bedcovers washed…… she has only done so once since July!  Im sorry but at nearly 20 I’m certainly not doing it for her

like I said this is the edited clean version… certain things were cropped out of view.

 

BLUE WINS HANDS DOWN!  Give me boys anytime…….. at least they strip their beds……….

Wow! It’s the end of another week. I made it!

 

This week went by fast. Very fast.

 In fact this year is flying past.. maybe not so good health wise yet but it will get better I have to believe that!

Having a blog is sort of like therapy. Not that I would know anything about therapy at all, although I probably wouldn’t mind paying someone to listen to my complaints once in a while. If I could afford it.

Mind you, I try as much as possible to not bother those around me with all my issues all the time. Although I do make use of the opportunity every now and then.

For instance…I have in the past mentioned the trials and tribulations of having teenage step daughters!

Blogging helps when you just want to get something off your chest. And it’s a lot cheaper than therapy.

Anyway, my issue right now is

If you go back to October (this may help)
https://notyouraveragemother.wordpress.com/2011/10/07/i-am-fuming/

 

Tammy sent Allan a text saying “ur A Cunt”

needless to say it didn’t go down very well!

well apparently  she has been spending time with Allan’s mum at the weekends.

personally i think its more for materialistic reasons but fine with me, although i love how his mum never mentioned to Allan about this.

anyway… at christmas we gave Amberleigh some perfume… Amber sent Allan a text saying Tammy had told amber that it was from grandma… this actually made me fuming once again..

seeing as how grandma had left nothing here for the girls.. fuck grandma only sent the boys £10 each in a card and some biscuits and chocolates.

Allan text’d Amber back saying it was bollocks, it was from us and Tammy was stirring things…
He then got a text from Tammy saying don’t talk about me to Amberleigh

which he ignored…  Kudos’ my temper I would have text’d her back telling her what I thought..

anyway a week or so later he gets a text saying Hi

Allan’s thinking…   is now… bollocks to her, unless she comes over and apologizes in person he can’t be bothered with her.  she certainly wont get anything backdated when it comes to christmas and her birthday.

he still ignores her…

this week another text saying Hi dad is Tammy how are you all.

Again still waiting for a personal apology is ignores her (has his man grown some balls at long last I wonder? )

now the finale  some time in the middle of the night, Both Allan and I have received a Friend request from her..   This will be interesting to see what happen’s

at the end of the day its his daughter………..

but I know one thing…. I am soooo glad I only have boys to worry about now…  Teenage boys are so much easier than Teenage Girls…  I’m sure my older boys were never like this, Actually I never remember the girls being  this bad,
No doubt in another 5 years I will find out all over again!

So maybe I shouldn’t complain too much…however this is my blog, my therapy. So I guess it’s alright to nitpick and whine here.

Come to think of it – if I go for any sort of therapy it should be for internet addiction! 🙄

30 Blog posts Picture Challenge Blog 20

 

Blog 20 – A picture of where you went to on holiday last

Hmmm  This year because we had the snakes, dog, hamster you name it we had a staycation and took the kids out to loads of places but the last actual holiday we had when we went away was when we went camping in Robertsbridge East Sussex (not far from Hastings) Last year (2010)   we went to loads of places, battle abby, hastings, yesterdays world, rye  to mention a few but i think the most relaxing time was the last day when we just chilled on the campsite.   Tammy came with us as well  although to be honest she spent the whole week having a face like a smacked arse!! texting her mates she was bored  but wouldnt get off her arse and do anything about it 🙄

our tent... not exactly small, has three double bedrooms and huge awnings we have never had it all out yetclubhousefun in the sun on the one day we actually stayed on siteboys in the play areaclubhousefun in the sun on the one day we actually stayed on site

 

boys in the play area

 
 

clubhouse

 
 
 

fun in the sun on the one day we actually stayed on site

 

Landrover all packed up and ready to go home 😦

 
 

I am Fuming!

well following on from my last blog Allan sent Tammy a text on Tuesday saying Happy Birthday,  I posted a message on her fb profile  saying happy birthday sweetheart…

Amber her sister came over as usual on Monday and we said to her about  Tammy not saying thank you and goodbye and she said how rude even,.

Anyway Allan got a text today saying “ur a cunt”  😯

I AM FUMING..

Well as we still have her card here we decided that there was going to be no money in it at all now, bollocks to her,, if her sister can come over and see us regularly I’m not being taken for a cunt by a 15 yr old and I’m certainly not letting the ignorant madam get away with calling her father a cunt,  I’m afraid I really am going to be the wicked step mother now…
she has blown birthday presents and christmas presents.

and I can guarantee when I tell my dad about it she will have blown her present from him as well.

I confess I did set a status on facebook,

Well apparently as her father is a cunt we are now £50 richer as I have just taken the cash out of a certain 15yr olds birthday card… — with Tammy Smedley and Allan Smedley at Home Extremely pissed off at how rude teenagers are!!
I am fuming, after her asking if she could bring two friends on Saturday and then turning up with one after we had been out and got extra bits in for a BBQ and then leaving with out even a bye and thank you How rude is that??And you cant blame it on being a teenager because Her sister has lovely manners and I’ve had teenagers and none of mine or anyone else’s I know act like that ,
we have seen her twice since Christmas when she got her presents and ran, Once to collect her money she had here left over from her birthday and christmas and then on Saturday.. funny enough three days before her birthday.. see a pattern there??

then today Allan gets a text saying you are a cunt…
That is not on at all!!

And I’ve tagged her in it so when she goes on facebook she will see it and so will her friends as it will go on her profile as well,

On the plus side………. Jo babysat for us last night and Allan and I went out for a lovely meal together……

every cloud has a silver lining……. 🙂

😎

I repeat I will not be taken for a cunt………. and certainly not by an ignorant 15 yr old

UPDATE:

Funny enough after my status..   A day later Allan got a text from Tammy saying it wasn’t her it was her mate who sent the text… Funny enough  that was the excuse last time she sent a vile text to him..

He Ignored it…… he then got another text the next day saying the same thing… neither text even says sorry even if it was her friend that sent it…

and No we don’t believe her at all because for one thing she never lets anyone near her phone!!

Kudo’s to Allan for resisting the temptation to text her back
because If it had been me that had received a text saying Ur A cunt.. and then got the it wasn’t me text I would have replied back saying You’re A Fucking Liar…….

Further Update.. 13/10/2011  Today she blocked us both on facebook…. So Very Childish, That girl really is digging her own grave deeper and deeper, Her father has lost all patience with her.

BBQ in October in 90 degrees farenheit!!

Can you believe it , This weekend we have had a BBQ and the boys have had a paddling pool out its been 30c  which is 86 Fahrenheit today and yesterday when we did have the BBQ with Tammy and her friend Jipzee over according to our thingy it was over 90 and yes I think it was right.  its October 3rd… No we are not is some far off country  we are in Sittingbourne in Kent UK…

the weather we have had for the last week has been nicer than most of the summer holiday… Dont get me wrong its not been a bad summer, its been hot but we have had a fair amount of overcast days

They have forecast snow soon… WTF  the boys are wearing shorts and shirts to school this week, it seems strange that in three weeks time they could be wearing their coats hats and gloves……… Time will tell..

What I will say is its been a trying weekend to say the least………

I cant remember if I have mentioned it before but Tamara did a hit and run at Christmas last year.. two days after Christmas once she had got her haul she buggered off… next thing is in the summer holidays we get a text to say she wants to go to Canterbury with her friends and she wants her money,that she got for her birthday and christmas it was about £35.. we said no unless she comes over as that is to spend when she is with us.. well funny enough two weeks later she came over with Amber  who I will say usually visits every week on a Monday saying she wants her money to go clothes shopping , so she got her birthday money plus an extra £10 she went clothes shopping came back to the house, showed us and then pissed off home not to be heard from again.. until about a week and a half ago when she texted Allan to ask if she can come over on the 1st October with her friend for a few hours… he said of course….. they are both welcome… but the cynical me thought she is only coming because it is her birthday on the Tuesday (oct 4th) and she thinks she will get her birthday money when she comes…

Thing is this year it was amber’s 18th birthday so she got a couple of presents plus £100 in cash off us and £50 off my dad but we did say that was it now no more big presents until her 21st… just a little something to unwrap if you know what I mean..
anyway I’m sure Tamara is expecting the same kind of present.. and my dad who didn’t even get a thank you for her Christmas present from him has said he will give her £10 in a card and she can have it on or after her birthday but not before and I’m tempted to just pick her up a little something as a gift.. new shirt or something. and give her no cash… I’m positive this is the only reason she is coming over…
Am I being too cynical. Amber comes every week even though she thinks that she wont even get a Christmas present. well only a box of chocs or something, I don’t expect them to stay over but I do expect her to keep in contact expect when she wants something.. its winding me right up

In a way I wish I could have said  its inconvenient for her to come , we had made plans to take the boys to a museum they wanted to go to for a Viking workshop we paid £9 each for (have i mentioned my boys are nerdy geeks lol ) but we will have to cancel because she is coming and Allan feels our names would be mud if we said no she cant come that day. as its only the second time she has come over since christmas last year..
I just want to slap her lol

Anyway because the weather is like hot hot hot I decide to do a BBQ so get in the stuff… Tammy even texts in the morning to say can she bring even another friend over… we say yes again……

he then went to the shops and got some more bits so we would have more than enough for us and Tammy and her friends .. Tammy came about 12pm  in the end with only one friend as she couldn’t be bothered to knock for the other one :-/ anyway she was totally ignorant all day really her friend said more than she did and even then I think her friend was more interested in the snakes and ZZ as we got them out for a little while to enjoy the sun..  to be honest it was hard work getting a word out of either of them plus we had loads of food so I ran around and asked Jo if both her and Adam would like to pop round for a BBQ which they did, the boys all enjoyed playing in the garden and in the tiny paddling pool that Ali got out along with his bag of play balls and the play tents  anyway about 6pm Tammy turned to allan and said she wanted to go now.. so he went to get the car out the drive as mine was blocking his in. anyway i was in the garden with the boys and Jo noticed that the girls had gone.. they left both without a goodbye or thank you. when Allan got back i asked if they had said anything to him and he said all he got when they got out of the car was see you……….. … I’m Actually quite fuming.. As I said its her birthday on Tuesday and ive a good mind to stick a fiver in a card and just post it to her………. When Amber comes on her own or with her friend she always says good bye and even her friends come and say bye … its manners something that I’m afraid Tammy didn’t have at all.

I think what peeves me off the most is where I have been ill I admit the house has become cluttered etc so I had a major Blitz around and really knocked myself out tidying up and of course getting the stuff out and sorted for the BBQ getting extra chairs down from the loft … I’m still finding it hard getting over this bronchitis and can only do a little at a time…..   so now I feel like I have taken a couple of steps back in recover.. 😦

And even today (Sunday) we haven’t even had a text off her to say thank-you 😡

I feel like the wicked stepmother Again…

Scenario…    Daughter (my Step daughter) is walking out of class in the middle of a lesson, being abusive to a teacher and getting into trouble at school constantly.. not working and homework is a right mess when she does it..  she gets bad report.

Allan being the father and I think he is a good one tells her off.. he does not go mad or anything but decided that we would not take her to Drayton Manor with us like we had planned and we would not be taking her out for any treats until she started working harder and behaving so we cancelled any plans we had to go out which I though was a bit hard on the boys as they were missing out because of her behaviour .  At the time she was staying with us 4 days a week,  She then started coming to us every other weekend just Friday until Sunday.. At christmas she made an excuse after a couple of days and left making up some rubbish about staying over at a friends..  We do not hear from her at all, not even a text… When its Allan’s birthday I send her a message via facebook reminding her .. She sends a text to Allan saying “Happy Birthday” this was March 9th… Since then nothing.. not a text or anything… Until today…  I was up the school waiting for Ali to come out when I get a facebook message notification come through to tell me someone has sent me a fb message. It was Tamara saying “An can I have my Money to go to Canterbury with my Friends” ok she hasn’t even spelt my name right.. but hey the girl is 14  but what pisses me off is ok the money she has is £35 left of her birthday money but she had presents as well and we did say she wasn’t to take the money home as we know she would waste it on sweets as she did last time. It was so If we went anywhere and she wanted to buy herself something she could when she was out with us..

Now at the moment Im cooling down.. as I am Furious…

1. She hasn’t even text’d her dad about this…

2. We haven’t seen or heard from her since last year…. ie before new years. Actually to be exact the 29th December. We know from contact we have had with her school her work is still atrocious and they are still having behaviour problems with her.

3. We have told her in the past she is not having her money to take home it is for when she is out with us.. she had all her presents, jewellery and everything to take home.

4. not even a please or thank you in her text.

5. we were only discussing her the other day and saying that no doubt we would hear from her when she wants anything…

6. Not even a what are you up to or how is her brothers.. or her dad..

Im so tempted to wait now until tomorrow morning and say..

Sorry only just seen your message on facebook.. (I don’t go on it every day)  Nice to hear from you.. we were only saying the other day we hadn’t heard from or see you since you until the 29th of December….

we are all well Thanks for asking.. oh sorry you didn’t but as I said I am well and so is your brothers and your dad … remember them???? 

And in answer to your question.. No… we have told you before the money you have here is for when we go out together as a family and not for you to waste on sweets etc or take home..  Your dad specifically said you could take your presents home but your money stayed here.

Maybe I should just wait and cool down.. like I said I’m obviously going to be the wicked step mother  the annoying thing is her sister pops over with her friend quite often and has said the reason Tammy hasnt been is because she has to go to school and do her homework over again if its not done properly. where her mum lets her have days off and doesn’t make her do it at all …

ARRRGGHHHHHHH Bloody teenage Girls……..